Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
17
This morning we number two’d at the same time. I believe you used toilet paper once, versus my three times…showoff.
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Way to save the environment!
oh my.
You can hear THAT as well? xD
How would you know this???
I can hear the toilet paper wheel turn.
but you never know… they could have just gotten a LOT off in that one time…
I lost a couple followers on Twitter after this one. People just don’t appreciate poo anymore.
They probably use toilet paper more than three times =P
So true.
POOOOOOP.
I love it.
poop should ALWAYS be appreciated. everybody poops :)
Haha. Is that such a bad thing? You simply weeded out the fair-weather followers…
It’s still appreciated. Keep up the good work my friend.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
*pause to wipe tears from eyes…*
…HAHAHAHAHA!
love it. that is all.
LOL! Even though the post is 2 hrs. late I commend you for making sure to wipe yourself thoroughly.
Why do you think it was so late…
At least you’re thorough.
It wasn’t late! i didnt even know there was a dealine for GAM stupidity…?
anyway, i had to reread this a few times. I’d like to see what Alicia can come up with for this one! :-D
Does she sing on the toilet?
I guess they got over their little spat if she can go to the bathroom again.
This is probably the only post where I said “ew” out loud. I don’t get grossed out too often so congrats. Haha.
good lord, if you can hear the toilet paper holder squeaking, I shudder to think what you hear when they have male visitors! ewww
Bonding moment <3
how special???
Um… Chuck, I think you were burning yourself more than anyone.
You must feel much closer now that you have taken a crap with her.. Thats almost as bonding as popping someones back zits :) lol
Nice reference.
I wouldn’t get too worked up about it. She probably used that three ply, queen sized comforter thickness TP.
Crapping together? Im pretty sure thats a sign of love, somewhere.
EXPELLIARMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRUCIO!
STAY AWAY FROM MY STEP DAUGHTER , YOU BITCH!
Awww why do you guys have to go and do that? You no Im not just ONLY The great and terrifying Lord Voldemort! I have other qualities! Did you guys know I tap dance? And play the flute? No. You didnt. Sure I would LOVE to kill that boy, but thats not the whole me!
I also like writing poems about butterflys.
HA just kidding Avada Kedevera your asses.
Oh dear, there seems to be a fight goin’ on.
Just in case….protego.
Even a non-character ought to have a little protection.
As long as your not a muggle..:
AVADA KADAVRA!!! i win :)
To be fair, my guess is that these girls are not on much on “hearty” fare. If you only input sugar free carmel macchiatos and the occasional shot of protein there can’t be much output. Thus, the easy clean up.
That, or the girls use the moistened towelettes upon their oh so precious nether regions. No squeak, just the click of the plastic box opening and closing.
p.s. all things scatalogical are automatic funny! Keep at it.
I literally laughed out loud at the word ‘scatalogical.’
I really hope you weren’t still sitting in the kitchen sink for this one. :)
I almost spit tea all over my laptop when I read that!! ROFL good one!
the mental image from that is hard to get rid of though
I couldn’t miss the opportunity. For some reason, I have the mental image that Charlie just chills in his sink all the time. So, when I read something like this post, I instantly think, “I sure hope that didn’t occur in the sink.”
Wow. You CAN hear everything they’re doing! Hope that place isn’t expensive.
wow yu can hear that? they must hav spun that wheel hard or something.
and they can probably hear yu just as well as yu can hear them haha
Is Alicia getting a free pass for this one?
No way!
What would happen if the girls above you found this site?
Even if they did they probably wouldn’t get it.
Fact: 100,000 trees a year are cut down to be used as toilet paper. Help save these trees by using a reusable cotton rag to wipe. This will help save the trees and also save you money.
thats disgusting….
that’s EXACTLY what i was thinking… D:
Ah, you gotta hate it when someone beats you at saving trees. :(
talk about creepy <.<
All I can say is— Love is in the air.
This one made me shudder. I don’t think I’ll be writing this one down. *cringe*
It was probably just a really big wad of it.
Try the butt tampon instead of wiping. Stick some TP up there. Walk around and remove later. Efficiency
Use water. Save the trees. I feel it’s more sanitary than using TP. I wonder as well what’d happen if the GAM found this site, lol.
Okay now Charlie- You have gotten your loyal commenters speculating on what kind of toilet paper the GAU use. Congrats, you should be proud. There is that level of appreciation for your site.
Guys, I just got back from Never Say Never…
What did you think?! Is it good enough (or bad enough) that you’re going to be done with movies? :D
I 100% have Bieber Fever. I totally get it.
Gonna get a tattoo of Beiber? c:
http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2011/02/08/funny-tattoos-justin-bieber-2/
-Wonders where the poem is-
I read DGAM for the stupidity. I read the comments for the poems. :D
My friend’s dad is a proponent of the 3 sheets of toilet paper school of wiping: one up, one down, one polish.
Today is the day that,
Two people in love sat,
Both alone and together,
To keep themselves regular.
It’s not as good as Alicia’s…*sigh*
…
This post is worth reading, I like it very much. I will keep your new articles….
theres a point where everything has to relate to poop. this it, good job getting there!
Wait.. Girls poop?!?
Yep. I was surprised too.
Funny stuff (:
I shudder to think of the things you can hear..
Charlie had to go number two,
A GAM had to , too!
So they both sat,
On the toilet, and shat.
But when they were done,
He used three pulls to her one.
[I’m not trying to get comments with this… I’m just inspired:]
Riddle me this, Riddle me that
Two neighbors both sat and shat
One pulled once, and one pulled thrice
can you guess which one eats more spice?
That made me giggle. Kudos!
Charlie hears everything they do,
Even when they’re taking a poo.
She only used one wipe,
But Charlie used three swipes,
Please no more posts about the loo.
(I’m American, so if I used “loo” in the wrong way or spelt it wrong or anything, don’t get offended my Brittish peeps.)
Though I am but a lowly schoolgirl, your continuation of syllabic structure immensely impressed me. (Did that sound astute enough to render me a peer?)
hehe fantastic as always Alicia!
wait… you don’t use the word “loo” in America? i had bizarrely thought it was an americanism for some reason.
but no it is used completely correctly – bravo :)
I havent been on the site in forever.
(my grandpa on my dads side died so it’s been stressful)
I’ve missed your poems. This made my life a little better :)
Ugh…Offically grossed out here. Good thing I’m not eating lunch.
I love how many poems this one got :-D
It seems that many people have been inspired with this post Charlie. Congrats on getting people to wax eloquent about the poo!
…
So instructional and so useful post. Thanks for such informative post. Good job….
Oh dear(:
Alicia is amazing as usual.
Bee tee dubs I was WeasleyMomma254(;
As I generally fail at picking up on sarcasm… Charlie, did you really enjoy Never Say Never?
Ps the fact that you were going poo at the same time leads me to believe that the GAM may indeed be your kindred spirits. You should probably make a move,preferably involving the bathroom in your pick up line.
Never mind, I just caught up on more recent comments from Friday’s post regarding the biebs, and I am so pleased Charlie, so pleased. :)
Maybe they used 3-ply TP?
i was hoping you’d have a post on my birthday. it made my birthday 5x funnier, thanks (:
Hi Charlie!!!
I haven’t been on the site in forever. Do you remember me?
I was the one that asked you to marry me? Haha :) well I remember the thing about how I didn’t even get you a hotpocket and I figured I might as well give you a waffle. Here (>••)>#
Anyways the reason I haven’t been on is my grandpa on my dads side died so it’s been stressful. I read all your posts that I missed and can honestly say they made my life a little bit more cheerful. :) thanks!
I hope you remember me! And I hope I’m part of the ‘family’ still.