Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
18
“I know this might sound stupid..” Not again, please no– “But does air have any fat calories in it?” 9-1-1.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Both comments and pings are currently closed.
Really….really!!!??!
OH DEAR GOD ABOVE!!!!!
Wait…what???? This just beat the “stupid question”. “Do fish, like, drink water?”
thats not a stupid question ..
Charlie, you should tell them it their are food particles floating around everywhere and see how long they can hold their breath. Just don’t let them die because then we’d all lose our source of entertainment.
it’s ok, it is impossible for someone to die from holding their breath of their own will. At most, they would pass out, and then their body would continue breathing. Only doing this multiple times or underwater would have fatal consequences…
also. you used the wrong “there”. ‘their’ is possesive, as in “their room is above charlie’s”.
Don’t correct peoples spelling or grammar it is totally unnecessary.
@Bub- You should probably not tell people what to do. Grammar is very important, especially in writing; this is a form of writing. And what if who was corrected really didn’t know? Now they do.
Wait, I don’t get it. Didn’t Noir use “their” correctly?
Oh my God really?!?!??!? …… just …… wow
Guys. Y’all are looking at this the totally wrong way. She is obviously an up and coming scientist.
There can be no other explanation for such an insightful comment as hers.
socrates’ great grand daughter right there :p
Wow…
Oh so THAT’S why I am gaining so much weight. Not from lack of exercise, no of course not. How could I not observe the gaining of an ounce every time I breathe??
Yea, you didn’t hear about the new diet plan thats been all over the TV? All you have to do is stop breathing and you can lose 5 pounds in a day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MMc3f588yc
just feel like this might be good to watch before starting that diet
Yes, yes it does, dear GAMs. Science books may erroneously state that “O2” represents oxygen, but it really represents those 2 ounces you gain with every breath.
Guys, on a separate note, I saw Never Say Never last night…
(Ooh, I posted at the same time Charlie did.)*notes*
I’m going to just deny what I just read. Call it a willful amnesia. Were you coerced? Was there the threat of death?
Now I have Justin Bieber stuck in my head :(
How was it?
What?!? Charlie, how could you?
Charlie you hit a new creepy low… so how was it?
*Screams*
You DIDN’T! Why???
I’m glad you lived to tell us about it. How was it really? I heard it wasn’t anywhere near as good as the Miley Cyrus movie….
I’m sorry to do this, but I totally have something called “Bieber Fever.”
That’s it. You’re getting disowned from this family. Notice how I didn’t write a poem on the Beiber post? It’s because I refuse to mix writing (which I love) with Justin Beiber (who’s music I cannot stand). You’ve gone over to the dark side, Charlie. Good job.
You know, when ever I hear someone say, “Bieber Fever,” I think they are saying “Beaver Fever,” which is an illness you get from drinking water from streams, where there is animal feces upstream. I had it when I was in 6th grade, they gave me antibiotics for it.
Charlie, now you know you can tell us anything. We can all sit down together and talk about this. What exactly was it about the film that inspired this “fever”. And who did you go with? Perhaps it isn’t you, maybe you are just getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. Just help us understand. Help us, help you.
* the above should be read in a slightly patronizing maternal therapist voice… giggle.
Seriously? My sister went and saw it today. I had to give her money for it. I felt like I had angered god in some way when I handed her the money…
You can’t disown me until you see it! Field trip!
okay people stop hating on the biebs. hes really talented and that movie was amazing and inspiring!
Ok Charlie. I’ll only go if you go with me. :]
WASNT IT AMAZING ?!?!?!?!
I don’t want Justin Bieber dead, but apparently CSI does lol http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110221154844AAC4g9y
Whoops, wrong link sorry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zb64y6Nvs0
Charlie I can’t believe you! :o
I looked at my 6 year old cousins magazine she had the other day. She had it marked to a page of JB. What was he doing? Grabbing his crotch. In a childs magazine. He is a horrible singer as well :(
I’ll try really hard to see it from their perspective.
“Air is mostly oxygen and hydr–” nope, not in their vocab.
“Air is gaseous- ”
“Air is a gas, and gas has mas- weight.” Argh, this is hard!
“Air is a something, and that means it weighs something, so do we, like, gain weight for breathing it in?”
Charlie, How was Never Say Never?
Sort of amazing.
So you would recommend it?
I kind of want to see it…
Did you scream every time Justin came on the screen?
Yeah, I actually heard from several people that it was kind of inspiring. Say what you want about his music, but the Biebs seems like a good kid.
He does seem like a good kid. I’m definitely not a fan, but there could be worse people that kids are freaking out about.
I just got back from seeing Never Say Ever. I hate to admit it, but it was pretty much EPIC.
Out of all the things they’ve said/done… they’re worried that THIS will make them sound stupid?
Dear God above me…I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying…!!!
If I hadn’t been whacked in the face by a metal tripod today, I would have face-palmed at this. Someone should tell them that breathing air is as bad as eating something at McDonald’s.
Argh!!!!
*Whishes he had a time machine to go back and unread that*
*stares at picture*
This has got to top my list of most stupid things I’ve ever heard/read.
My sisters best friend once said, “Bread doesn’t have salt in it, that’s toast!” she was a 100% serious.
Tell them yes. Who knows, maybe they stop breathing.
……. -_-
Chaz, you can get in trouble for dialing 9-1-1 with a false emergency
This clearly isn’t a false emergency.
you make me happy
<__> …….. O_o so is that a no to air having fat calories? Just wondering
Oh, gosh. That’s just pathetic.
Oh my. You know it’s exeptionally stupid when even THEY think it sounds dumb.
My mind has been raped by their stupidity.
Just made my day. :) hahahaha
PASTA!!!
Italia, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be training with Germany? :p
I’M THE TOMATO BOX FAIRY!
ahhh, i love you guys!<3
Romano ftw.
ditziest post yet, just in time for my birthday(: I feel honored.
An ounce of cum has 7 calories.
actually its a tablespoon…
you read Ttyl, Ttfn, and L8r g8r, didn’t you?
Cathy and Claire should be really concerned about that.
I just had surgery yesterday and wanted to say thank you for making my recovery so much better. I wait for your new posts everyday now. The comments make it oh so much funnier also. Thank you again.
In that case, I hope GAM provides lots of material for Charlie to post to help your recovery!
Well then today’s post was for you. I hope you have a fast and safe recovery.
I have to share this with you guys:
Today in my HONORS science class, the teacher goes, “Everyone knows what marsupials are right?” and this kid goes “Aren’t they like, half girls, half boys?” I just stared at him and said, “Think more along the lines of kangaroos and kualas.” Then he says,
“Ohhhh, so they’re ANIMALS that are half boys and half girls.”
I’ve met a GAM soul mate.
My history teacher last year asked us, an AP class, if a beaver was an animal or a fish…
My biology teacher didn’t know if fish laid eggs or not…
well it depends on the fish… lots of fish have live birth… sorry, bio major
Lol honors classes in general are stupider than regular classes.
Most definitely, they’re supposed to be smart, but they have NO common sense what so ever!
A girl in my Algebra 2 honors class didn’t know what complementary and suplementary were.
I really hate her…
You spelled Koalas wrong.
At least they…they…uh…might…be on to something?
Not that I like the Beebs or anything, but everyone is allowed some guilty pleasures. You go Charlie!
Thank you.
Mine is cheese.
Mm..
Sharing circle time?
How is cheese guilty? Cheese is awesome and should be enjoyed thoroughly.
OMG, same!
I know that nothing they say should surprise me anymore but still… Wow.
no. no? I refuse to believe that somebody could legitimately ask that question. Charlie please tell me you are seeing how gullible your followers are by posting something this ridiculous. please?
The problem *I* have with the statement is her query about, specifically, FAT calories. Not protein calories or carbohydrate calories – fat calories. I wonder which new diet plan they’re using?
I bet next they’ll think a bloodstream is bad for their complexion….
O___O…Oh my, guess they’re wondering how they gained a few pounds randomly??
And as much as I don’t care about Justin Bieber, (i like SOME of his songs, but him??? ….Not so much. He’s kinda like a Taylor Lautner in a “ssh-don’t-talk-you’ll-ruin-the-whole-effect kinda way) how was the movie Charlie?? I was thinking about going to see it but I don’t wanna waste 2 hours of my life that I’ll never get back.
I’m telling you, go see it.
Ah, ok then. I’ll let you know what I think of it after I’ve seen it.
Oh. Wow. They dont know? Theres this new thing call the air diet. It has ALL the flavor and none of the calories! Theres air salad, air sandwich, air steak, and air creambruelle! What are the ingredients? Air. Wheres the flavor? Thats the best part! You use your imagination! I tried it, and look at me! Skinny and beautiful! I have no nose….. but im still pretty….right?
Of course you are, having a nose is so last season.
Let’s just say you didn’t do Quirell any favors by telling him to wear that turban.
“go home, terrorist!”
Do you know how HARD it was to fly?
I bet you enjoyed those brand spanking new, “preflight massages,” they offer while getting your luggage checked, right? (:
Hell Nah! I dont want anyone touching my magical junk!
Only when there are fat people in the room.
Oh my goodness. It’s hard to believe that there are people on the planet who are this stupid. After reading these posts, I have to say, I am sorry. Lol. Although, I doubt anyone in your situation would have thought of this and turned a misfortune into entertainment for people. XD
No way, I don’t believe it! LOL
Of course. The simple solution- stop breathing. If you turn purple that means your losing weight faster. And if you black out well, that’s just a side affect.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Emma Dwyer, sgnewsfeed. sgnewsfeed said: 2011-02-18: “I know this might sound stupid..” Not again, please no– “But does air have any… http://goo.gl/fb/dwdH6 […]
Not all guilty pleasures are forgivable.
I am so sorry for you. I admire your self-control, I would’ve petitioned to have them removed from the complex already. Or just gone batshit insane and went upstairs with some sort of sharp/bludgeoning weapon.
I would too! i have some obnoxious neighbors down the street, and more han once I’ve walked up to them and thrown a waterballoon right in their faces….
I feel as if this question is a step up from the questions and comments I hear daily from my history class…
When I was in high school a girl in my history class asked why they didn’t just shoot Jesus. Her brain was a box of rocks.
There was a guy in my college english lit class who asked if a lampoon is what they killed Whales with and if a cuckold was like cockle shells. He’s probably a GAM soul mate
For example when we were going over the Napoleon unit, one of the kids in my class asks “Why didn’t they just walk to England from France? It’s better than a boat.”
Hey, I know I’m kinda late commenting… But I have to say how awesome you people are. That’s all. :D
Oh, and *in a sarcastic voice* EVERYBODY knows air has calories! Sheesh…
Charlie, I have a question…
What are you going to do if they move?
Before you answer that I reallly suggest that you just follow them around wherever they go and live under them hahahaha
Trust me, I’ve thought about it.
What are you still doing here?! I’m pretty sure you’ve been disowned…..
Just kidding, we still love you! But I did ponder wanting to stick you in a mental hospital….
All right, I now fear for these girls existance.
I’m wondering if Charlie is just trollin’ and Never Say Never wasn’t good…
I mean, I can’t really imagine it being a good movie.
Oh, I wish that were true.
Long time reader, first time commenter,
my brain just exploded after reading this,
they are too stupid for words…
post
If she was told “YES” would she try to stop breathing?!
By George, I think you’re on to something!
tell them to embrace breatharianism: http://www.boingboing.net/2005/06/17/worlds-worst-excerpt.html
Just….Wow…..
Hope Never Say Never was great!!!! :P Enjoy that guilty pleasure, Charlie!!!!
I will (proudly) say that mine is the Backstreet Boys……
I used to love them… :-D
I’m crazy for the backstreet boys and nsync still
Well with this never say never business… Now you def have something to talk about with the girls.
Actually, since a ‘calorie,’ is the amount of the substance is takes to raise one kilogram of water by one degree at 760 mm of mercury, if the ‘air’ was hot enough, it could plausibly have calories.
… And I’m a sophomore. Juss’ sayin.
Yeah sophomores who take chemistry.
I’m actually in AP anatomy and physiology… So yeah.
*sneers at last bit* ooh, very impressive. So glad you felt the need to brag to randoms on the inter net. *regrets calling herself a random*
What the flocka, I didnt do anything to you. I didnt do anything to anyone…
Jeesh.
And I wasnt bragging. I go to a Medical HighSchool, I want to be a physical therapist and help people that got hurt in car crashes or in battle. So I take Anatomy… I just took Chemistry earlier..
I was just saying that Im not in chemistry.
Sorry if I seemed like I was bragging.. But I truly did not mean it that way. At all.
I also dont appreciate the judgment you just passed. Really? Was that necessary? I come on this site for laughs, not judgment. Pft.
It was a little braggy, but it’s okay. My advanced chem class is pretty hard… but I don’t go to medical high school, I go to a snooty private school, so I’m sure your chem class was much better.
I think what she meant was that she is a sophomore in high school and knows that while these girls are obviously our of high school and I assume they are in their mid to upper 20’s? So *in theory* they should know this… yet they don’t.
I (the mind behind Lord Voldemort) Am in 8th grade….. and I knew that. I hope you didn’t learn that this year.
Never thought I’d say this, but thank you Lord Voldemort(:
And Rosie, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to sound braggy, but I realize now that the,”so yeah,” at the end of it made it seem like I was. My bad! (:
Well, Taylor, You are obviously a worthy follower. You are welcome.
*unit of heat, when a substance is heated(;
My b , totally skipped a part.
gotta watch out for that aerosolized lard
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
CHARLIE…..i am…disappointed to say the least D:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!? do you WANT to get sucked into a world of screaming 12 year olds who actually think theyll marry Justin Bieber? -dramatic sigh-
i just hope it won’t last long D:
I know, I’m sorry. I don’t like it either.
… :o you replied to my comment…
-is totally starstruck and screenshots this moment-
seriously? California test score standards must be lower than i thought….
What would she do if someone said it does? Try to stop breathing?
Just because I have to tell the entire world…MY HUBBY AND I JUST FOUND OUT WE’RE PREGNANT!!!!!!!! :D
Now how to relate this to DGAM…oh, I know. We will not raise our kids to be like the GAM. O.O No way.
Congratulations :D
I would hope not O.O
I love that you think my website message board is the “entire world.” Don’t worry, it is for me too. CONGRATS! Can I be he/she’s godfather?
LOL only if you can talk like The Godfather. Auditions will be Saturday…
hey charlie. im just wondering… did the GAM learn about us? are they holding you captive? you alright??
You never answered the question………… If the answer is yes I should really go on a no-air diet………If no……..you never read this……
P.S. Charlies a Belieber too!
If it sounds dumb even to you,
Then it probably isn’t true.
You won’t get fat from the air,
So keep breathing so Charlie can share,
All the dumb things he hears
From you girls over the years.
We look foward to it every day,
Making fun of the things you say.
(I know that poem was super late, but I’ve been really busy lately.)
Next time, please, if you think what you are about to say is stupid, don’t post it online. Otherwise everyone will think you’re stupid.
…
Thanks for taking the time to share this, I feel powerfully about it and enjoy reading more on this matter. If possible, as you pull ahead noesis, would you mind changing your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful for me….
One of the girls in my highschool was convinced that everyone in class was stupid but her. Our teacher told us that we couldn’t sense radioactivity. “But I can like, hear the radio!”
I have a friend whos father was diagnosed with liver cancer. Upon hearing this she pronounced “Don’t worry dad, you can have one of mine.” I laughed so hard I nearly peed.
Justin Bieber makes me vomit a little bit in my mouth.