Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
24
“Wait, when it’s a hardcover it’s a novel and when it’s floppy it’s just a book?” All you need to know is it’s available on tape.
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First comment!!!!!
really? that’s all you have to offer? that’s the e-quivalent of the GAM.
No. Just… no.
As a writer this makes me want to cry.
I totally agree with you
It makes me want to cry and I’m nowhere close to being a writer.
Im feeling it -_-
Agreed.
they’d have to figure out how to play the tape though……maybe it would be better if you read to them
That would definitely qualify as community service of some kind. Helping the less fortunate
WIN!
I’m impressed that they are talking about books.
Oh, and second comment. :)
Well, it was second a few seconds ago. :)
I’m definitely gonna start using “floppy” instead of paperback.
….Charlie, you need to buy them a dictionary and leave it outside their door, with all the words they’ve ever mangled highlighted and annotated. You’d be doing them a great service. (And it could be a ‘floppy’ dictionary, if you wish.)
He would have to highlight almost the whole dictionary, I’m sure. :)
Only almost? I’m sure it’s the whole thing. >_<
“Excuse me, I’m looking for the floppy version of ___ book”
I’d like to see the employee’s face when they hear this request.
I could so see them doing that!
I REALLY hope they just hand you an old floppy disk with the book saved on it. That would be great.
Let’s introduce them to the Kindle!
They would be bummed out because they would think it’s an iPad that can only show words.
*likes*
i’m pretty sure they would only use it for a cosmo subscription.
talk about a waste of $250…
Cosmo doesn’t do a subscription on the kindle…at least it didn’t the last time i checked.
wait, were they actually reading???
I wonder what the reading material of choice is for GAM?
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish
This one has a little car!
This one has a little star!
I think even Dr. Seuss may be a bit too advanced for them… A preschool book that teaches the alphabet, with a huge letter ‘A’ on one page and a picture of an apple on the other side is more their speed!
Probably Twilight or some other mindless babble.
One: It’s a paperback.
Two: being novel is unrelated to the cover.
Give them a hard cover and floppy cover of the same book and watch their brains combust :)
LIKE!!!
I think they shouldn’t even try. A tape would go by too quickly & they wouldn’t follow anything.
It would require them to listen for an extended amount of time and not be distracted by one of the many men in their lives
To be fair, I didn’t figure out the difference between hardcovers and paperbacks until I was seven.
And on the subject of books, if anyone needs something to read I’d recommend Watership Down. Just throwing that out there.
Watership downs is a classic LOVE it.
love it too. Cry every time!
Whenever someone reccomends a book that will “make me cry” I read it, and for the most part it’s nothing to the booky-sadnesss I feel when I read Dumbledore’s death. Just sayin’.
Do you have to comment on every post to be a family member? I read all the posts and comments AND I like sunchips. But sometimes I just don’t have anything smart to say.
Uh, maybe? I think the sunchips part got you in. :) I consider myself a part of the family, despite not being officially welcomed by Charlie.
Well that was very rude of me! Welcome Leila.
Hopefully the family wont disown me if I admit to never having tried Sunchips… to be fair though, I live in the UK and I don’t think they sell them here.
Yay!! :D
Yeah I never was welcomed either, but that’s most likely because I didn’t make it known that I was a first time commenter (at least that’s what I say to myself to stop the tears at night). I even replied on a comment Charlie made and wasn’t acknowledged :(
I love how SunChips play an active roll in the comments.
Woah wait…I want to be part of the family too!!
I can go stuff my face with sunchips right now if it’ll help.
I was never welcomed either, but sometimes I like to pretend I was. It helps me sleep at night.
Oh gosh! *facepalm* These girls. They amuse me. But hey, they’re talking about literature! I wonder what they’re reading?
This made my day, definitely. I really needed it (Stupid bullies. Still in high school over here, hehe…).
Don’t worry Elizabeth! It will get better. It definitely will.
Who cares if it’s on tape? They’ll make a movie out of it soon enough.
One of my friends said it was ‘blowy’ outside once, instead of windy. I understand we all have our blond moments. Some people have longer moments than others.
I called the ruffles on a shirt “fluffies” the other day. Definitely my blond moment!
The other day, I said “dung”, meaning the past tense of “ding”. My mom laughed. I still don’t know what the correct word would be.
I would think the past tense of ding would be dinged if that’s not it then dang?
I still think dung is correct for the past tense of ding when referring to bells; or you could possibly just go with the bells rang… the bells dinged? Dang it the bells just made some freaking noise! (I am pouring way to much thought into this!)
I just looked it up because I was really curious, most sources said dinged. Dung would be if we still used old English.
I used the word “Bagelary” I reference to a bagel shop the other day, because it wasn’t a bakery but you bake bagels…my dad will never let me live it down.
I have to admit I normally read, chuckle to myself, and don’t comment. BUT. Your particular comment had me cracking up because it was almost exactly what I used to tell some of my lovely girl friends in high school. I simply let them know that some people have blonde moments, and others are stuck in blonde decades. They were in the latter category, but it was ok.
I once said “miserableness” as opposed to “misery” XD
That was definitely an off day for me.
The other day in English I said, “thouroughfulness” instead of thourough, and in called a rhinoceros a “rhinosaur.”
I live a blonde life… But im blonde so idk haha.
I was performing a scene in my advanced theater class the other day, and I accidentally said “We’ll be arrested for vouyagerism!” Instead of “We’ll be arrested for voyeurism!” Definite blond moment. But luckily, only one person noticed. And he never mentioned my slip to my teacher. c:
This is just sad… But I wonder what they were attempting to read, and its reading level… Was it a fourth grade reading level?
Wait, ignore my comment about the alphabet book. It’s definitely Twilight!
That is so sad. That’s all I have to say.
…They can read?!
I’m sure they can read. Its just shocking to think that they actually DO read.
how else are they suppose to understand the squiggly lines on their text messages, billboards, menus, condom and vibrator containers, TV guides, liquor bottles and et cetera?
really good floppy book to read: Ender’s Game
I just read that book! It was amazing! For a book that was written quite a while ago. And I agree, I want to hand them the hardcover and paperback versions of the same book and see what happens :D
LOOOOOOVEEEE Enders Game, one of my all time favorites. Did you read the sequels?
WHAT SEQUELS?! I must find out and read them.
I love that book! I had to read it for my tenth grade English class, and afterwards when everyone had finished it we had a class debate about whether Ender actually had a choice or not, and whether the morals the adults pushed onto him were good or bad. I forgot what side I took at the time, but I do recall that my side won.
Oh…oh god…that’s just sad.
You should show ’em a copy of Stephen King’s colossal “Under the Dome” (which is an awesome book, by the way) and watch their brains melt.
I just finised reading Under te Dome! My mom said it was “too adult for a fourteen year old” but when she went to bed I would grab it from our shelf and read it in bed..
The girls above Charlie have a strange misconception,
of how a book is named by its cover.
Should Charlie correct their misapprehension,
Or give them a chance to discover?
Let’s choose the latter, because as we all know,
the girls above Charlie can be a bit slow,
and if Charlie gets in too deep,
it will be harder for him to creep.
And I thought MY generation had no hope. Turns out we were screwed before.
Oh no it has no hope…we just weren’t the first to make ourselves hopeless….
You know, I don’t think they’d know what a tape is…..
Tapes are so 90’s.
Charlie maybe you should read them Twilight, its total lack of plot and miss use of fancy adjectives would be right up there alley
Or perhaps “The Big Coloring Book of Vagina’s” would be better for them? (I found this book accidentally on Amazon yesterday while looking for a gift for my 3 year old cousin)
Hahaha! Love it! This is a great idea!
I don’t…I just…but…
you took the words right out of my brain!
I think we’re all in trouble… *facepalms*
You know, eventually they’ll figure out that you can buy them on iTunes, so they’ll have to decide whether to call them Pad books or Pod books. Or something like that.
(Long time lurker, first time commenter~ I have no SunChips on me at the moment (or in my mouth), but I can agree that they ARE the tastiest of chips.)
They were probably reading that crappy book about Justin Bieber.
PS. I’m a first-ish time commenter, but I never got welcomed. :(
:-O
Welcome, Katie!! :-D
I was never welcomed either, but then again I never identified myself in my first comment. :P
Dear Charlie and the rest of the gang,
We’re doing a poetry unit in school right now. I wrote a poem about this website, talking about all the regulars on here, Sunchips, and the Girls. I’m reading it in front of the class tomorrow :)
PS I’m a 14 year old eighth grader…you attract the young crowd too, Charlie :)
Awesome Opossum! I wish you the best of luck!
And I’m a sophomore, haha(:
You should type up your poem and post it on here, I think we’d all enjoy reading it(:
A man named Charlie lives in LA
And in the apartment above him, two girls stay
To us they are known as Cathy and Claire
They’ve got as much brains as a cows derriere
Every day I log on and look for a post
Hoping for a video (I love those the most)
I do a little facepalm to todays GAM quote
Then I click on “Comments” and join the party boat
I read everyones reactions (most in disbelief)
My smile gets bigger, showing my teeth
I look for Alicia’s poem, to which mine does not compare
Then I remember my sunchips (though half the bag is air)
I look at the time
And remember I have to finish my homework by nine
So I hesitantly close the screen
To one of the funniest blogs I’ve ever seen
But you can be sure that when tomorrow is ending and calm
I’ll be logging back on to deargirlsaboveme.com
So I know it’s not as good as all of Alicia’s poems, but I tried and I hope ya’ll like it…and my teacher too hahaha :)
*Like* :D well done!
AWESOME POEM!!! You deserve a perfect grade! :D
Yes, please! I bet your poem will be sassy and awesome. :D
*high five* 8th graders ftw! Let us know how it goes!!! :-D
AWESOME. You better get an A for that!
Haha thanks Charlie!! I did get an A, and 5 extra credit points for it rhyming :)
Great poem. :3
Jajaja. I’m a senior in high school, but I’m supposed to be a junior. Charlie does indeed attract the youngins.
Great poem. :3
Jajaja. I’m a senior in high school, but I’m supposed to be a junior. Charlie does indeed attract the youngins. Two of my friends also read this, though they haven’t gotten into reading the comments yet.
Im betting it was one of the books those people from jersey shore wrote
Hi everybody I’m new :D
P.S. I think your a bomb of awesomness Charlie ;)
Snooki’s book definitely seems like their cup of tea. Apparently, there are instructions on how to make the perfect poof in the book. Charlie, will you let us know if they start sporting poofs?
The books on my shelf wept when I read this post, especially the “floppy” ones who discovered they were no longer novels…
then how do they classify the kindle?
*hums slightly*
My real question is who said something to give them this idea? Obviously it had to come from somewhere…
And “floppy” books don’t seem so floppy when they hit you on the head… Just so you know. People should be more careful with their books. :)
Hahhahhahaaa((:
No end to the laughter(: I love all the comments on this one, too!
A whole new level… *shakes head*
What’s ya’lls favorite flavor of sunchips? I like the salsa ones. Lol.
Oh and Charlie– When do they say these things?! Seems like all you and they do is sit around . You in your sink, and them… On the couch, watching Teen Mom and the like. Do they have jobs?
Harvest Cheddar! Harvest Cheddar!
Loved this post, although it did make me a bit sad that these poor moronic girls never learned the difference between a hardback and paperback book!
although if you own a kindle (I do and LOVE LOVE LOVE mine) there is no such thing as “hard” or “floppy” in a book anymore…..so hey one less thing they have to worry about!
Top Ten DGAM Floppy Books
10. “Homeless Guys vs. Sons of Famous Actors (With Careers in the Industry of Their Own): How to Identify Which is Which” By Dr. Che Kin Chuot
9. “Snobby Birds and Where they Migrate To” By Pidgoneus Dung
8. ” Does Air have Calories? : Five essential things That Are Making You Fat” By The Pepsi Corporation
7. ” Love in the Plush Toy Section” By G. Ross
6. ” How to Name Your Vibrator” By L. Hard
5. ” The top Five Halftime Shows Starring The Black Eyed Peas” By the Black Eyed Peas.
4. “War and Peep Boys: How to Tell if Your Roommate’s Hook Up is Gay” By Harvey Oswald Mortimer Othello Secksual
3. “Things other than Zach Effron that Are Delicious” By G. Oldfish
2. “No Kiss for Kay, but Blo Jo Fo Sho” By Tiffany S. Rocks
and the number one DGAM Floppy Book is:
“Love Among the Sun-chips: A Book of Poetry” By Alicia
I would buy that last one. :)
I would too!!!!
I think we all would
This pretty much just made my life. xD
Thanks, I try :D
hahaha Awesome.
I’m glad you approve :D
i ended up reading this at work and couldn’t help but laugh out load to all of these!! luckily, i’m the receptionist, so no one is really around to give me weird looks. but seriously, these rock!
Thanks!
Outstanding comment :D Very funny!
*Bows to the master*
*Does the akward turtle*
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*Giggles* I do love dumb people, makes me feel less stupid xD
…and it may also be the main reason why I love this blog :P
I generally worry for your safety with these girls living so close to you Charlie…
I agree I also worry for Charlie’s sanity and safety, but also for the girls. I can just picture them doing something so stupid and dumb and getting mauled for it. Then where would we get our entertaimnemt?
I would love to know where these girls went to school. Obviously, their school needs reforming.
Long time reader first time commenter. I felt the need to comment on this post. I am an avid reader and I could not stop smiling at what the girls said. By the way I do love SunChips.
Welcome to the GAM fam.
I know this may seem scary but i am from England and i have never heard of these sun chips. What are they exactly??? And why are they so brilliant?
Not scary to me…I’m from NY, and I have never heard of them. Maybe they’re localized goodness.
Oh, they’re just a bag of whole-wheat multi-grain goodness.
http://www.sunchips.com/
Sun Chips… how to do you describe the delicious goodness of Sun Chips… crispy, crunch wholegrain goodness…. yummm….
I am sorry my friend, but you’re just going to have to somehow experience it yourself. Maybe someone can send you a bag from here?
And Liz- you should be able to find them at any grocery store. Even Wal*Mart.
I LOVE OUR LITTLE GAM FAMILY :)
At least they read books.
Hahahahahaha, oh my goodness, our GAM fam is the BEST.
….oh, these girls… I’d REALLY like to know what book it is that’s “floppy”. And yes, I think I’m going to start saying “floppy” instead of paperback now as well, Charlie.
Not related to this particular post, but do we agree the garden salsa variety are the most delicious of sun chips?
Like my name says, I’m just constantly astounded by these girls. I can’t help but think, “Really?!”
The girls can’t tell the difference between hardcover and paperback,
Are they taking up books all of a sudden, or have they just taken up crack?
They think a hardcover is a novel and a floppy one’s called a book,
Maybe they should just call it a day and by themselves a Nook.
They won’t be able to handle a Nook. They probably couldn’t even turn it on.
If I were you, I would be proud of the fact they could read a whole book.
I almost feel like the girls don’t even read. Unless of course its a magazine. Well . . . maybe.
Here you go……
Interesting post %BLOGURL%. Here’s a link for thanks….