Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
16
“I’m sick of job hunting. All I really wanna be in life is one of Charlie Sheen’s Goddesses.” You definitely fit the criteria.
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So being Charlie McDowell’s goddesses isn’t enough?
You may not be winning enough.
So true. There’s a certain amount of epicness you have to acquire.
I eat oatmeal every morning, how can I not be WINNING enough!?
Ah but are you bi-winning???
When there is a drug called ‘Charlie McDowell’ then they will beg to be your goddesses
Will it be available? Cause nobody is dealing Charlie Sheen anymore….
When I first read this I immediately autofilled McDowell instead of Sheen.
not enough tiger blood
Oh Lord. Please include that statement in the TV show. Make an entire episode out of it. PLEASE.
Charlie Sheen’s goddesses live a very comfortable life in his mansion. There’s a lot of support, love, and healing from their past issues in there. I’m sure everyone wants to experience that kind of love and respect with people around them, along with some fantastic sex.
Sure worked out great for the girls of the Manson Family. Nothing like the combination of sex, drugs, forced co-habitation and the rantings of one crazy alpha male to makes sure the healing happens.
make sure, not makes sure…. argh fumble fingers.
and the violent abuse and death threats are just gonna be great too.
I did actually first read it as ‘Charlie McDowell’ and thought ‘Oh gawd, they know who he is!’ Thankfully this whole shenanigan is still a secret. xD
Their aspirations keep getting higher and higher. I’m amazed.
If that means all they’re looking for is a guy to provide them blow and use them for sex I’m sure I know plenty of people who can help them with that.
No, they want someone famous to do all that(:
“The girls want to be Sheen’s new godesses
And we think they’d be great, to be honest.
If they turn up, grinning and willing,
Or better yet, grinning and topless.”
Sorry for knocking Alicia off her usual post as Poet Laureate of DGAM, but I had to try that one xD
Nicely done.
Should have switched grinning with winning. The opportunity was right there.
I am really hoping that this is sarcasm. Please, please be sarcasm.
ewyuckgross
Oh darn, they missed it.
http://cs.internships.com/charlie-sheen-internship/
Well I didn’t.
YES I applied.
and YES I made it to the next round.
My summer looked like it was going to need some spicing up anyways.
And this is all assuming he doesn’t OD before then.
birthday post!
Also, I would never wish them on Carlos, he has had a hard enough time lately.
Happy Birthday!
Why is he in the news so much recently? Hasn’t he always been notorious for his drug use? Why all this now?
charlie, ill be one of your goddesses!
Really? I must warn you though, I don’t drink or do drugs. It might get a little boring.
lol if you want to have fun then it wouldn’t matter
I don’t drink, do drugs, or participate in illegal behavior. I also model sometimes. I can beat Cathy and Claire any day!
We can have Sunchip parties!!!
Are you kidding me!??! I’m sure we’d have a blast at your place!! Imagine all of the epic games of Monoploly, Apples to Apples or fort making! I hope you enjoy making forts, Charlie… Oh! And we can’t forget the fabulous listening parties. :)
^YES! and we can eat sunchips :P
If they become his goddess then they would move out and then no more DGAM….
On another note, did you know that the majority of my history class does not know where the Mediterranean Sea is? Then after my teacher rants about how important it is to know where the Mediterranean is and if you don’t know, pretend you do, he points out body’s of water on the map. They apparently never knew about the Indian Ocean or that the Nile River is in Egypt. Now I know why people have lost faith in my generation….
Some of the kids in my friend’s AP (Advanced Placement) US History class seriously thought Washington DC was the capitol of California…
the girl who sits behind me in my german class asked if we were on the west coast (we live in indiana), after hearing about the earthquake in japan…
The girl was bored with the whole job hunt.
The big world just too much to confront.
She’s quite willing for Sheen
to make her a Queen.
She’s gladly his new harem runt.
What did you expect? This is a Family posting. Shame on you!!!
You should make them a Charlie Sheen Goddess starter kit, Tiger Blood included.
THATS MY NAME. ITS EVEN SPELLED THE SAME WAY. HOLYCRAP.
How do you pronounce it? Mines pronounced Lay-lah.
tell them he’s looking for an intern and they can apply on line (actually true)
at least they have some kind of dream… even if it isn’t a great one…
I was very confused when I read this. I thought I was on HighDeas.
I realized and then read it again, giggled.
Charlie, you need to go to the police about them. They really shouldn’t be living on their own in their mental condition. :)
First time commented, too!
Welcome to Club Awesome. Hope you like SunChips.
Job hunting is tedious… I’ll agree with them there. But why would anyone want to be with Charlie Sheen?
She would never have to work again! Once Sheen kicks the bucket she can pawn gifts from him to hire a ghost writer, who will write an award-winning “auto”biography for her, which will be a hit with the tabloid-readers of America, and she’ll be an instant millionaire. “I’ve Sheen it All: a memoir” by Cathy or Claire
My thoughts exactly xD
Charlie Sheen saw this and thought “… I am winning.”
They’re Bi-Awesome.
nah, they’re bi-stupid
She’s looking for a job!!! I don’t think she could hold one down.
Ha ha! That’s why she’s looking for one.
How much pot has Charlie Sheen smoked?
Enough to kill Two and a Half Men!!
Sorry, but I had to do it- I was surprised no one did already ;)
:’D a lot of people have…
charlie i dont drink or do drugs. its a perfect match (:
Pornstars live above you?!?!
THAT. IS. AWESOME.
I honestly had NO IDEA who Charile Sheen was until I saw Sarah’s post… I fail. -.-‘
And wow. This is just…. wow.
Oh god. Please tell me they’re not still on that pregnancy kick!
The child of Charlie Sheen and GAM would be disastrous!
They fit the criteria to be a Goddess for Charlie Sheen,
They’re probably blonde with big racks, tall and very lean.
Not to mention stupid, no common sense, and air heads,
That’s exactly what it takes to get in Charlie Sheen’s bed.
I would choose McDowell over Sheen without thinking twice.
He’s funny, doesn’t drink or do drugs, and of course, very nice!
Isn’t McDowell known to drink “light” beer once in a while? Only after humming T.Swift that is.
Judging from his disappointment in having to do so, I would fathom a guess he enjoys other types of beer as well. I certainly hopes he raises a glass tomorrow!
nice one :)
YAY! WOOO wooo…
I like your style Cygnus!
The bars around here are opening at 9am. Brekkie and beer to start off the day!
Damn! Alicia, you’re killing it! Good one.
Definitely one of my favorites(: Nicely done.
And, as a side note, you’re really amazing at this.
Thanks everyone!!! You’re comments always bring a smile to my face.
amazing writing as always. I’m jealous!!!!
Hmm. Sort of off topic, but I’m getting a little tired of every celebrity magazine out there obsessing over Charlie Sheen =
I agree. It’s annoying
As well as wrong, because the man is probably suffering from a serious mental disorder.
Omg, I thought I commented. Ugh! So not cool. This is what happens when your day changes on you. But still, read this earlier today and I just had a *palm to face* moment. Lol.
Haha.
I love whichever girl said this.
I really gotta agree with them on the topic of job hunting though. Argh, even the thought of it is a pain, I’m trying not to think about it at all right now.
On another sort of related note, I am 2 months away from graduation and my laptop (with all my work for my graduation project) decided to die on me. argh, thanks a lot.
AND with everything that is going on in Japan, my grad trip to Japan is also most likely cancelled. I swear life sucks right now. The only good thing is that I could finally get a new laptop but even then, I had to take money out of my savings for it. *sighs*
It’s ok you’ll get through it :)
Lola, he’s not suffering from a mental disorder. It’s his ‘mid-life crisis’.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.
On a side note: Guess what day it is tomorrow?
FRIDAY! FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIIIIDAAAAYYY!!!
Charlie, they only want to be your goddesses if you’re bi-winning…
What the heck is “bi-winning”?!
Obviously I’m not keeping close tabs on the Sheen-ster
charlie sheen said “I’m not bipolar, I’m bi-winning”
hence the joke
OHMYGAWDWAIT!!! All I really wanna be in life is Charlie Sheen! You have to give me their numbers!
my friend just sent me a link to your site. I love your outfit and I hope you get to bond soon with good ol’ Charlie.
seo tips…
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