Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Sep

17

“The Bible is an actual book you can read? I thought people just did chants and stuff from it.” Oh dear God above me.

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  1. Mai says:

    Didn’t these kids have parents? WTF? As Liz Lemon says, “you need to act like you have parents who raised you in some sort of shame based American tradition.”

  2. Christina says:

    They seriously did not know this?? Did they grow up in a cave or something?

  3. aimee says:

    You need to give them a CD containing all the HTML pages from this site when they move out.

  4. Charlie McDowell says:

    Maybe I should show up as a stripper priest and give them a lesson.

  5. Caulene says:

    Umm Really!? That cant be right! Are you sure you heard them right? I know they are stupid but…. Really!?

  6. Sarah says:

    You have to be kidding…

  7. Mitchell says:

    *speechless*

  8. Mike says:

    Thank you for enlightening me GAM

  9. Ali says:

    Really? I just lost the little faith I had left for them lol…
    Thanks for starting my birthday off on a high note :) <3 this site

  10. Quinchles says:

    Sometimes they say things that don’t sound too stupid, so I give them the benefit of the doubt… But this?
    “Oh dear God above me.” made me smile.

  11. Doctora Gonzo says:

    They are probably more kamasutra than bible people

  12. Emma says:

    I oft attempt to create a witty comment toward your abnormally ignorant ‘lady friends’.

    However, today, I am completely at a loss.

    Set a bible outside of their door with a yellow sticky note saying, “Love, Charlie.” and your apartment number. See what happens.

  13. Another Katie says:

    I wonder what religion they are.

  14. Allison says:

    Oh dear lord. There are no words.

  15. anonymouse says:

    *prays for their souls* That’s all that can be done. All other words escape me.

  16. Rhiannon says:

    This is just a whole other level of stupidity that cannot be said.

  17. Meron says:

    damn. that’s a little scary..

  18. Arielle says:

    Well. They’re going to he’ll.

  19. Arielle says:

    Damn auto correct. *hell

  20. Nicole says:

    Seriously? You’ve got to be joking. How can they not know the Bible is real? This is insane!

  21. Laurbugg says:

    Wow. Just wow. That is a special kind of stupidity.

  22. Hunter says:

    I think I just felt my hopes for humanity drop a little. I really hope these girls don’t have children.

  23. Meep says:

    If these girls had children theyd probably try to accseorize with it…
    I can here them now:
    “But baby boy blue is just so not in…we’ll just make him wear a pink hat anyway.”

  24. Gretchen says:

    if only it wasn’t a real book…

  25. Louisa says:

    I wonder what its like to live in their heads…
    /shudders/ I don’t ever want to go there!

  26. Emily says:

    Did they just watch “Book of Eli”?

  27. Kate says:

    I though maybe these girls were just a tad light on brains, but this is just crazy.
    I could understand maybe not growing up with religion or something, but Christianity is the Biggest religion in the world last time I checked. It’s quite hard to miss something like the bible…

  28. Bathrobe says:

    Aren’t you Jewish, Charlie?

    • Trippetta says:

      I hope you realize that if his last name is McDowell, he’s probably Scottish.

      • Trippetta says:

        *it’s even Gaelic, apparently. Mac Dubhghaill

      • Laura says:

        Not saying that Charlie is Jew, but if the mother is a Jew, the kid is considered Jewish, no matter what the father is.

      • Trippetta says:

        No, he wasn’t saying he is a Jew. He was ASKing if he’s Jewish. And as I said, Scottish is more likely.

      • Trippetta says:

        *Nevermind, Laura. Just realized what you meant. You should really learn to use personal pronouns, like “I’m not saying…” etc.

      • Hello says:

        Umm? Scotland is a place you live, being Scottish isn’t a religion. Judaism is a religion. You could be Scottish and still be a Jew…
        I think you made a mistake?
        Or have i missed something…?

  29. Betsy says:

    Perhaps they were raised Catholic… That involved a lot of chanting from books without ever really opening a Bible.

    • Grace says:

      Not true, Betsy. Chanting is very pre-Vatican 2. And we read from the Bible every Sunday. (3 readings actually). Just a random little tidbit there.

      • Betsy says:

        But, Grace, do you read them from the Bible or from a Catholic book of Bible readings? Because that was more my point. I went to a Mass a few weeks ago and there was definitely a form of chanting and no opening of an actual Bible.

  30. The Epitome of Eccentricity says:

    I’m beggining to think that these girls actually do not exist, and you’re just doing this because you’re bored.

    • robot says:

      You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour..?

    • Britt says:

      silly, silly boy.
      have you not seen the VIDEOS he’s posted?
      jamming out during one of their parties, giving them presents?
      im pretty sure the GAM are legit ;)

  31. Grace says:

    Please tell me that they are atheists. I don’t think its possible to believe in God and not know the Bible was a book…

  32. Helen says:

    I’m Jewish, and today’s Yom Kippur. I felt dumb for messing up my torah portion today at services…but this just made me feel so much better x)

  33. gg says:

    i feel legitimately bad for these girls..

  34. Another Katie says:

    Seriously, now that I know they’re THIS stupid, I will never read a post the same.
    And I almost don’t want to say that, because I feel like I know them, reading all your stalking posts.

  35. Dominic says:

    Charlie,

    Discovered your blog today and I love it so much I’ve had to read every single post. I’ve had some bad neighbors in LA that I’ve plotted against on sleepless nights but your retaliation is much, much better than anything I could have ever come up with.

    I’ve a tutored a number of girls that could potentially be your neighbors and couldn’t have fathomed living below them. Kudos brother. Keep up the great work.

  36. anonymous says:

    this blog is awesome
    i love reading what idiotic teenage girls are saying

  37. anonymous says:

    hehehehehehe

  38. Jesus says:

    my dad went to all that effort to produce…them. what a waste of his weekend!

    • This Guy says:

      I feel like they were practice models that were accidentally sent to the womb of some unfortunate mother…

  39. herpdederp says:

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  40. Helen says:

    This leads me to believe they may be on to you and are actually saying something dumb on purpose. No way anybody is this stupid. Is there a way?

  41. The Green Pirate says:

    Oh my goodness, this definitely tops the list of stupid things I have heard people say. It’s so dumb… it’s just… amazing. Truly astounding. Congratulations, ladies. I am awestruck.

  42. I found your site being bookmarked in one of the social sites. Im glad I visited it. Interesting articles you have here.

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