Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
21
I changed my wireless name from ‘JonStamosCondo’ to ‘GerardButlerPad.’ “Do you think he bought it from Stamos? Hottest sale ever!”
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FIRST COMMENT
LOLOLOLOLOL
Second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I’m only gonna have Gerard Butler “live” in the building a few months. Who should move in next?
Micheal Jackson, they wouldn’t realise he’s dead.
Totally go with MJ or Tupak or something.
I agree with that one-hundred percent :D
Go with one of the dudes from the Jersey Shore.
Yeah! You could be Snooki.
Zac Efron
Johnny Depp.
Seconding the Johnny Depp vote.
Too unbelievable. I like Zac Efron.
Taylor Lautner, make them feel like they would have to praise your apartment.
Harry Potter. See if they realize.
It might confuse Voldemort, too… I apologise in advance if my Lord attempts to kill you, Charlie.
I’d go with Taylor Launtner or Kevin Jonas (or Joe Jonas). Some super recognizable name of some young hotshot actor/singer. Chri Brown? lol?
The GAM named Claire starts acting strangely- her roomate notices, and wonders what is up, and why Claire has started wearing fake eyelashes everytime she goes out the door. Claire is keeping a huge secret from her dearest friend. The fact is, Claire knows her roomate is hotter than her- but she also knows Gerard Butler lives in their building. Excited, and wanting to hook up with the star, her weird behaviour escalates, and she becomes the reason why Herve Leger Bandage Dresses are still making huge amounts of money. Finally, just as she begins to doubt her wireless networking, she sees a glimpse of someone from behind- he wears a tacky shirt, and his awful haircut is streaked with gray. His regrettable moobs are visible even from behind. She shrieks and faints with surprise. She wakes up— and there, with her roomate in his untoned, flabby arms, stands who she thinks is Gerry. Then she wakes up- and it was all a dream. Viola :D I love doing that— and it was all a dream…
“oh, sheesh y’all, t’was a dream!”xDDDDD
Exactly my dear, exactly *strokes chin in a wise and knowing manner*. Ooh that reminded me- does anyone want another ‘just a dream story’? Hmmm probably not. I will post one then. A short one.
The old kungfu master stood in tree position at the edge of the canyon. He focused his thoughts, then looked over the edge, feeling like he was floating, simply floating, on air. That was the last thing he felt. The next moment he felt a stab of pain, through the small of his back and out through his stomach. The last thing he saw before he fell, fell to his death a thousand feet below, was the red of his blood, gushing out of the wound, as he fell slowly, without pain, as if he were still floating. Then he woke up, crumpled into a heap on the floor. He was clutching his tummy, and then he realised… it was all a dream.
Viola :D
Definetly Fergie, Taboo or Will.I.Am or maybe a combination like FergieandTaboosLoveNest :P
Ryan Reynolds. Can’t pass up on People’s Sexiest Man of the Year.
Totally Johnny Depp!!!!
Hermione. Seriously? Should I tell Ron?
Hermione, it’s okay. I understand. Although, I must say, Rupert Grint = much better choice
FAIL the little picture thing is the same in all of the comments! So it was you who wrote them… The wise one has spoken.
Orlando Bloom ;)
Bradley Cooper :)
By the way, nice bowtie Charlie! I got so excited when I saw you in this picture!
http://rooney-mara.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=144&pos=14
So glamorous, Charlie!
You clean up nice, Charlie.
I say your next wireless name should be “shutthellupalready”.
As stupid as they are, I’m pretty sure everyone here would cry if they shut up for good. Where would we get our daily humor?!
Go for the Ashton!
agreed.
wouldn’t make sense without Demi and being married might hurt his real life desirability factor (he’s hot to look at but really who would even try to go against Demi, she’s hotter at forty than most twenty-somethings!). John Mayer or Shia Labeouf might be viable alternatives.
Lol. Omg, they are so ditzy. But then that’s a good thing for then there would be no humor. >.< As for the "live" in…Ryan Reynolds. ^^
I agree with you wholeheartedly, my young pirate queen! Ryan Reynolds would be awesome. ^.^
I can’t believe I didn’t check back til now! You know Jacky Faber?! And then just agreeing about Ryan is just added points. >.< New Friend!!
Got out of my last exam to go home and find this. Day. Made.
How about Brad Pitt? although then they might be suspicious when there aren’t 6 screaming children around…
Screech! JK… how about Mario Lopez?
I’m pretty into this one.
I vote Mario Lopez too. He was so hot on Dancing with the Stars.
“CasaDeMarioLopez” does have a nice ring to it. Unless the translation would be too much for these two. . .
Change your wireless name to: deargirlsaboveme.com
http://1001awfulthings.com/the-top-1001
nooo that would defeat the purpose of having the website if they ever found it!
Very random, but I think if Ryan Reynolds had a bear like you do he kinda resembles you.
Ack! That was meant to say beard not bear…but bear sounds more intriguing. :)
I was disappointed when I found out you meant beard. I wanted to know more about Charlie getting a bear…
These girls are so gullible
That it is hysterical.
It’s so unbelieveable,
It’s plain inconcievable,
That they could be any less knowledgeable,
Their minds and mouths are unstopable.
I highly doubt they’re sociable,
Because they’re not understandable.
Their stupidity is astoundable
And…that’s all I have that’s rhymeable.
These should be the lyrics for the theme song.
Please. If I ever wrote a theme song it would be wayyy better than that.
Nah I think it’s perfect. Catchy and it pretty much describes the GAM perfectly.
Plus when I readt this one, I sang it to myself lol.
Oops *read
Sing it to the tune of Bear Necesities from the Jungle Book and it sounds even cooler.
You’re right. Way better.
This could totally be the theme song for the theme show. Or since you could write a better one for that Alicia that could work too.
omg alicia u are the goddess of poetry :D
And you are the ruler of all things blah. ;)
Hannibal Lecter should move in next.
No thanks, I’d rather stay in Arizona.
How about buffalo bill, he needs some new skin
LOLOLOL
that made me laugh.
I say have “Gylley” move in next.
Charlie, when you replied to my comment from yesterday I felt like God was talking to me.
Trust me, my voice isn’t that deep.
You should go up to your vents and put on your God voice, “Those shoes do not match your bag,”.
I would say that they might have a religious identity crisis, but I think it’s more like that they would start watching 7th Heaven reruns.
That would be the best!!! You should totally do it! I’m sure the blueprints to your building are available somewhere….
oh. there’s that voice again ;)
Incredably asinine. You should have Cathy and Claire move in, since that’s not their real names.
You should have Jon Stamos move back in and then keep switching between him and Gerard Butler.
Ummm… Justin Bieber, someone from Jersey Shore, (sorry don’t know their names), or Ryan Seacrest… My vote would be for Ryan.
I say have Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries move in.
Why not Justin Timberlake. You could raise their whining to write about for a while. How they thought maybe they could finally get a chance to have his babies… Just a random thought.
Definitely go with “Glylly!” Haha. (Spelling?)
Holy Cheese Itz! I say you have as R Patts (oh god… I just say R Patts…..)
Also, first time commenter, all the time stalker, erm, I mean, lurker. Yes…. lurker.
ROFL Alesha… I think we all are. I third Glylly!!!!
Haha this is brilliant! Although I have to say, I’d be rather excited if I thought John Stamos or Gerard Butler had moved into my apartment building :)
…hi :D
Hello, muggle (:
First off, I’m glad that Hannibal Lecter wants to stay in AZ. Secondly, I vote for Ian Somerhalder or Timberlake to move in as well.
Third, DEAR GOD ABOVE ME!! Why do I keep feeling like I see you when I go places?!? (Went out for dinner tonight and one of the waiters, I swear, looked like he have been you!!) :/
Can I move in next?
Keanu Reeves? Or should it not be an overly famous star? Wait…. Jesse James and Kat Von D (spelling?)
micky mouse
Have someone else change theirs to Monica L. Than make yours Bill C.
I feel they would not understand this one!
I think you should have a famous designer move in next. Maybe Marc Jacobs, or Zac Posen. Watching them stalk the building and hearing them scheme about how to score original samples would be priceless.
Then* (I caught it Grammar Nazis)
it should be “I caught it, Grammar Nazis”
bahaha how lame of you.
Would they catch on if you made it Heath Ledger? Because I loved that man
hahahaha that’s hilarious!!
http://didimakeamess.tumblr.com/
I’m thinking we go with the hot teacher from ‘glee’.
Matthew Morrison?
George W. Bush should move in.
Just “Stumbled” across this, and it made my day. definitely bookmarking this!!x
Just found this website, and I think I’m in love. Clearly “Charlie McDowell” is the author/celebrity/god of this, so thank you Charlie, for a rather enteratining page.
Oh, and I’d suggest having Chuck Norris move in.
Hahaha agreed. Chuck Norris would be interesting choice.
No… Cause then they would be too scared to talk, knowing Chuck Norris lived underneath them!
You should change it to Gylly. Now that he’s done with Swifty they have a shot.
I definitely agree! They would get so excited.
Who is Gylly and what is a Swifty?
Also, I second Justin Timberlake.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift.
Thanks. I figured it out literally as i hit submit comment.
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This website makes me hate weekends. No new posts :(
waldo. And I bet they would still never find him.
I say Ted Bundy. That one might frighten and confuse them all at once.
but would they know who Ted Bundy was? Knowing these girls, they might think he’s a shoe salesman with a really trashy (but still funny) family.
A Kardashian?
I just thought I’d say that my friends asked me to go see No Strings Attached with them yesterday, and then gave me really wierd looks when I started laughing.
My boyfriend wants to see it ’cause he “likes” Natalie Portman and I always giggle a little when the commercials show up and he gives me a look that he wants to go.
I second (or is that triple or fourth?) the Mario Lopez suggestion. It would be amazing to have Orlando Bloom or someone like that, but you have to remember the believability factor. Would he really move into a place like that? Really? Someone from the Glee cast is much more likely, seeing as many of them are/were living in apartments together.
But anyone big who makes an appearance should only be there for a short while. Cause it would really be a temporary place.
But I think you should have fun with them with designers, Charlie. That would really get them going. Like, “ZacPosen’sCreationPad” or something like that. Yeees. :)
MARIO LOPEZ?? AS IN SAVED BY THE BELL?? O.M.G.
During the summer, Santa should move in. Global warming is probably screwing up his workshop anyway.
Zachary Levi
I don’t know. I would go for Gylly, Johnny Depp, Timberlake, or Ryan Reynolds
ted bundy
Joseph Gordon Levitt
OMG! I would move it then– I mean Charlie and JGL? That’s just to much down-to-earth celebrity power in one apartment building. It might not actually balance out the ridiculous-not-celebrity power from above, though.
Good Kharma keeps the wheel turning…
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ok i must say gerard butler is extremely hot but i think you should go with Kellan Lutz next time haha
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