“I’m so sad. I couldn’t live a day without my iPhone. Rest in peace Bill Gates.” Let me lend a hand, rest in peace Steve Jobs.

“I don’t even want a boyfriend, I just wanna be ‘in a relationship’ with someone on Facebook.” My teenage cousin is looking…

“Al Qaeda… Al Qaeda… Oh, is that the new guy on Desperate Housewives?” Yep! (If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em)

“I think I wanna learn a new language. Maybe a little parle vu espanol, por favors?” I’m not sure which Rosetta Stone to get you.

(screaming) “J. Lo, if you’re out there, what eyeliner do you use!?” It’s times like these I wish I had a sassy Latina accent.