“Okay, you buy the alcohol and a flare gun and I’ll let everyone know what time to look into the sky!” There’s also Evite.

“Think about it, no model is hotter than us cause underneath we’re all just skeletons.” My skeleton has a Cindy Crawford mole.

“My tarot card lady told me that babies bring people money. Maybe I should have one?” I see no harm in testing it out.

“So, my ‘Circumcised Penises Only’ streak is officially over.” Sorta sounds like when I made the switch from Legos to Playmobil’s.

“It’s official, I deleted my Facebook.” Nice, I have a lot of respect– “Luke and Sara went to Cancun!? Reactivate!” 14 seconds.