“Okay, get ready…and…PAUSE. See! It’s impossible to freeze them in an unflattering way!” Please stop watching The Tourist.

“So I guess they found Obama Bin Laden pretty much dead at a house in Iraq.” Literally nothing in that sentence was correct.

“I so would’ve given him carriage-head during that long ride to Buckingham Palace.” And that’s why you’ll never be a princess.

“Can’t I like flash my boobs or something to get out of jury duty?” Not unless you wanna end up on the stand.

“Is there some Australian guy yelling at us to ‘put a cork in it’?” Excuse me, that was my Russian accent, thank you very much.