“Hey Claire, what day is it?” Oh no, please don’t sing–“It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” It’s Thursday!

“Oh God, I must’ve drunk Facebook posted again! This time about a new weight-loss product.” It’s time to change your password.

“I need to get cranberry juice immediately! What if they drug test me at the job interview!?” I can be your clean piss contact.

“Again, our stupid rent check was mailed back with the zip code circled! We live in 310 you idiots!” That’s our area code.

“I know life’s hard in like other countries, but don’t you think LA is the hardest place to live?” Totally, let’s move to Japan.