“She called me a ‘dumb bitch’ to my face! Okay, sometimes I can be bitchy, but NO ONE thinks I’m dumb.” I might know a few people.

“Wait… Oh my God… I’m so freaked out… I can’t remember how old I am. HOW OLD AM I?!” Old enough to remember how old you are.

“Oh my God, one of my wheel-tire thingys is flat! What the hell should I do, get a new car?” Seems like your only option.

This weekend I thought you realized you’re “anal” when it comes to “small stuff.” Boy, did I misunderstand that one.

“I just realized it’s March! You know what that means…” March Madness tournament? “Girl scout cookie diet month!” Oh…right.