“What was that amazing dish called that we had at the Hanukkah dinner? Fried yarmulkes?” They must be Orthodox.

“So far my biggest disappointment of 2010 was realizing that real bowling is way harder than Wii bowling.” You’ve had a rough year.

“Fast forward! You know I gag whenever I see the ‘before’ pictures in the Proactiv commercials.” You would’ve hated me at sixteen.

“The girl at the nail salon is autistic. My appointment’s at 4 and she said ‘see ya at 16 o’clock.'” Crossing out military future.

“He thought I was being all romantic, but I was just checking out my hair in his sunglasses.” Are you sure he wasn’t blind?