“Was that an earthquake or did you drop your vibrator again!?”  In Los Angeles those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

“Whoopee, we landed on Mars. I’d be more impressed if we landed on a planet we haven’t already been.” Houston we have a problem.

“Hey Olympic website, stop being so annoying and just tell me when David Beckham is swimming!” I think you’re confusing your abs.

“So the ‘right to bear arms’ has nothing to do with acting like you’re a bear?” No, but it totally should.

“Oh my G-string, has anyone named their baby Chardonnay yet?!” I think you could be the first alcoholic to claim it!