Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
02
“So, I gave him two options, breakfast in bed or a blow job. Guess what he picked?” Well I didn’t smell burnt toast, so…
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who hooo first!
who hoos? I’d say the owl does…
*sorry, couldn’t resist…
Sluts are such a drag to read about.
Breakfast in bed! Right guys?!
And risk getting crumbs in the bed?
negatory.
I can think of something messier than that that rhymes with crumb and would be involved in the other option.
Why, of course, Charlie. Who wouldn’t pick breakfast in bed over a blow job??
You have to pick what you think is going to be better. And honestly, who thinks these girls are known for their down home cooking?
@Slim… they are apparently know just for going down, though!
Is there even any competition?
What would you choose?
Ohgod.
Maybe they just had instant oatmeal.
like :)
Would she have even been able to make toast in the first place? I get the impression that she wouldn’t even be able to figure out how to use the toaster…
They probably would have needed to watch a YouTube video explaining how to use the toaster…
I expect, for them, breakfast in bed might be a metaphor? (not that they know what a metaphor is, probably)
my corrupted mind understood D;
My mind got this.
Pshh. They had Rice Crispies. Clearly.
Except then you’d have probably heard then trying to figure out how cereal could be so loud.
Oh God, I can only imagine their reaction to Rice Krispies cereal + Milk…
They’d probably think it was going to explode.
what would be their reaction to Diet Coke + Mentos?
“Hide somewhere! The bowl is shaking, I can feel it! It’s gonna explode!”
xD I’d die laughing.
Also. I accidentally said Crispies instead of Krispies in my original comment and I didn’t realize I was incorrect until your comment. Whoops. GAM moment. xD
whats their definition of breakfast anyways? an orange tic tac
JUNO! and think of all the artificial colors!
Well SOMEONE still got breakfast in bed…
makes me think of that BUSH song… “Swallowed”
BAHAHAHAHA. ew.
Alicia’s poem is going to be awesome on this one…
A man should never have to choose
*wonders if she knows this TJ* *doubtful*
you can be glad he didn’t choose breakfast in bed. I’m afraid that she might have accidentally burned the appartment down in an attempt to make eggs.
I’m positive he only picked that to avoid food poisoning.
And yet another to add to the list of men… but i’m sure this was “anti-kay” guy.
He prolly gave her something from Tiffany’s the night before
YAY!!!!
Oh… Lovely.
where is the poem?
I’m pretty sure you live below my ex-roommates.
That would be delightful.
There once was a girl from upstairs,
Who gave all her choices in pairs.
She offered him toast
or her throat as a host.
Either way she’ll beget no new heirs!
Hahahahaha! Best yet! This is my first comment on here, although I’ve been checking it out for a while. I couldn’t help but comment on this, though! You are truly an artist :)
Definitely my favorite poem yet.
Alicia is our resident poet. This is simply a naughty limerick. I felt it appropriate given the material.
Applause!
Good one!
Haha! Very nice!
I am jealous of your skills, and Alicia’s skills.
I want to see what Alicia has to write about this…
Me too! Alicia, I know you are super busy but this is tooo rich!!!!
Well, Charlie, she can actually make toast.
You know, any innocense I had was thrown out the window when I started writing these poems. Just saying.
Breakfast in bed,
Or get some head?
The choice was up to him,
What would you choose on a whim?
We all can easily work it out,
What her boy chose without a doubt.
He obviously picked the second choice,
Without any hesitation in his voice.
Good thing she didn’t cook after all,
It could’ve been the apartment’s fall.
ah the long lost innocent days *sighs wistfully*
anyways, fun poem :) we are all really glad the apartment didn’t burn down!
CLAP CLAP CLAP CHEER CLAP
Another wonderful poem!! ..And I think the guy was being self-serving with this request, but not for the obvious reason.. I think it was so he did not have to subject himself to her cooking..
well I can tell you which my Husband would choose, with absolutely no hesitation at all!
…i hope he fled.
I wouldn’t mind some waffles or pancakes
Yum…
I am quite proud of you process of elimination skills Charlie. Honestly. They are incredible
*sniggles*
what does sniggles mean? maybe i dont want to know……
a mixture of snickers and giggles probably…hopefully…
I think my boyfriend would have chosen the second… And that’s technically illegal.
I love Jewish people. But we must work on The Grammar errors people! I’ll call the SS I swear to the Führer.
Wait, you are a grammar Nazi yet you started a sentence with but? Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive!
Placing a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence isn’t grammatically incorrect at all, so long as the conjunction is used in proper context (it actually helps break up long sentences). But there were four other grammatical errors in Grammar Nazi’s post. ;)
I need to start a page like this new neighbors just moved in I heard this the first hour they were here. “Oh yeah?! Oh yeah! Well I screwed so many guys since I have been with you, you most likely have every STD by now!” Their argument suddenly stopped when I burst out laughing… Did I break the conversation eavesdroppers code by laughing so hard?
Yes,you probably did but I’m pretty sure anyone would have broken that code if they heard their neighbors say that! :)
But, I thought they didn’t know how to make toast. They certainly cant wash clothes…so it sounds like this guy’s only option was the “job” and then to leave.
Alicia your poems are the bomb.com ha Charlie you are a tough man sticking through these girls idiotic comments and questions. Thanks for keeping everyone entertained! :))
I didn’t know anyone else said ‘the bomb.com’. Whenever I do people always ask me if it’s a website or something. Haha.
Wow. That’s a pretty generous offer. I have never even heard of anyone being so nice the morning after. She must actually care about him.
charlie, what do you do all day?
They can make toast!? This came as a huge shock. I don’t know what I’m going to do while I’m in Disney this weekend. I hope nothing to exciting happens while I’m away for a few days.
Well they do say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day… and they never did place restrictions on what could be eaten…
*Shoves EvilLonelyGirl back into the corner* Gaaah, sorry, no idea how she got out!
Oh dear… I think it was wise he chose the second choice. Can they even cook?
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