Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
22
“I need to get cranberry juice immediately! What if they drug test me at the job interview!?” I can be your clean piss contact.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Both comments and pings are currently closed.
I really wanna know what the job. Major League Baseball?
Does prostitution require you to be drug free?
All I know is Charlie Sheen’s “Goddesses” aren’t.
When did MLB switch over to the job interview process? Too many scandals with scouting?
“Please provide us the contact information for 3 references, preferably ones that were not on you little league team”
Well she is possible not the brightest to be a nurse, so thas out….
Shouldn’t we kind of feel bad for her though, I mean if she’s asking for cranberry juice that means she might have a urinary tract infection and has trouble peeing, which really sucks for anyone.
Doesn’t that depend on the person?
I hear vinegar works best.
They should probably do more than a drug test on her…
I’ve been a quiet reader for a while and I was waiting for either first to post or my birthday. First post! Now, if only I could come up with some witty comment….. *sigh*. Can’t win them all.
Can you believe in the time it took me to post I lost out on first post?! Wow. I guess I really can’t win them all… *deeper sigh* I guess I’ll hold out for my birthday now. Hopefully they say something ridiculous on April 9th.
April 9th is my birthday, too. 0.0
Clarification, not trying to pretend to be Charlie, I’m just going by Charlie, seeing as how my name is charles.
Oh. Charles*
Excellent Charlie! Here’s to our shared birthday and a spectacularly idiotic comment from the Girls Above!
I think a drug test is the least of her worries.
Well drug testing is usually determined by the individual employer. Most jobs that involve construction, money handling, or driving involve a drug test. Also, anything that involves children or teens requires a drug test. Big corporations as also starting to pop up with more drug tests, even random ones. Anyone will tell you, the larger businesses have a higher threat of drug testing. Lots of people recommend cranberry juice, iced tea, certain sodas, and coffees to fool drug tests. I wish her luck with her interview!
That was more so in response to Charlie, not just me randomly yammering.
Are you sure you want either GAM handling money, construction materials or driving for our safety and theirs.
Also cruel and unusual punishments to children and teenagers break both the US constitution and the Geneva convention.
Based on the teenagers I know, they would get along splendidly.
I have to agree on that one.
As a teenager and long-time reader, I would like to protest MY lack of ignorance, even though I can’t vouch for the rest of my generation =/
Oh boy. Well…some cranberry juice, orange, vinegar, something that will help the ‘poor’ dear.
Or she could just object on privacy grounds citing the fourth amendment as a right to privacy.
I’m really glad some one other than me is sticking up for them and assuming they know the amendments.
Lets not get ahead of ourselves, if their own address provides them with difficulty the constitution could be tricky.
The 4th Amendment right to privacy does not protect you against drug testing. The search of your person is not considered unreasonable given your choice to refuse the particular job for which the test is a requirement.
She got a job interview?! Mind Blown!
maybe she meant her BLOW job interview
hahaha. Like a casting couch kinda thing?
Anyways, these girls are seriously looking for a job eh? Why so? Daddy (probably the one who threw out that doll) finally realised that his daughter needs to grow up and support herself? So no more money transfers!
Is ‘daddy’ bribing the person interviewing the poor girl?
This is a rare moment in time- one of the girls actually thinking logically! Well…scratch that actually- she thinks she’ll get a drug test at an interview -.-
OMG! Finally an appropriate time to whip out the new joke I heard: So I went to my local drug dealer the other day, asked for my regular coke…He only had Pepsi. Ba Dum Tshhh.
…. Uh…. ha?
Lol. It’s so corny it made me laugh. x)
I saw this on grouchy rabbit :)
Shhh! I think that’s where I got it from :P
Maybe she just shouldn’t do drugs. They obviously aren’t helping her mentally. Haha.
I was just wondering if they drug test strippers?
Do strippers have to be high?
I was just thinking that might be the only job she qualified for…I wasn’t saying all strippers had to be high…
true. Butdo they?
Ive worried about the exact same thing. cant wait to here the snarky elitist comments of the non drug using masses lol
It’s hear, sweetie.
I am so glad you have found a way to safely incorporate illegal drug use into your life.
lmao. Charlie, I feel so bad for you, but this has gotta make a great TV show.
At least they’re getting a job.
silly gam! charlie sheen doesn’t drug test his godesses!!
^like.
Try pickle juice. My friend brett says it works wonders.
How does your friend know that?
….um…working with disadvantaged inner city youths…obviously.
I don’t like thinking about it.
Completely unrelated to the post, but I was wondering, Charlie, if there was an update as to the status of the show? Has it been greenlighted? Also, if you haven’t thought of a theme song you should totally use “Los Angeles is Burning” by Bad Religion.
I overheard one time in high school a guy telling another guy to drink a capful of bleach…
maybe that’ll help her.
sounds like a good way to get a darwin award.
Is there one GAM that is the predominately stupid one, or is it more or less equal? Because in my mind one girl has a learning disability while the other one just puts up with her.
me too!
i’m pretty sure cathy is the stupid(er?) one.
but it’s just a hunch.
They seem too stupid to make themselves even stupider with drugs. I would worry for my life if I lived under them.
charlie, have you ever heard them when there is a guy in the apartment and they are doing it?
Read some of the past posts. And you shall find the answer
Ha ha bless them for actually trying to think of a logical reaction to doing something stupid!
I had to do a drug test last week! Good thing I have nothing to worry about. These girls really take the stupid cake.
They get a cake?! O.O no fair.
Hopefully one full of fat and other bad stuff so neither of them fit in their skinny jeans.
Haha. Hey, I’d still eat it if it was yummy enough. Also, I would make a nerd joke about how your username’s reminiscent of Marie Antionette and her famous malattributed quote, “let them eat cake,” but I can’t think of a non-sucky one.
Here’s one for you Tegan, my middle name is Marie.
It seems one of GAM is getting a job,
Will it be politician or elite fashion snob?
But first they must take a prerequisite test,
One that they’ll trick with the method that’s best,
And no, it’s not living a life that’s drug free,
It’s drinking cranberry juice; yes, that is the key.
And if they get hired, and mature alot,
Well. We’ll miss their fun, but Charlie might not.
Eh? Eh? I’m getting better at this, little by little.
This I like…. Take a well earned bow!
Sweet. *graceful bow*
Because only on the internet can I be graceful.
Should I make the lame joke “What drugs AREN’T they taking?”
…Seriously, what are they on. They don’t act smart enough to NOT get caught…
…Then again, it’s California.
Charlie, this site makes my day, tell the girls i said thanks. I cannot wait til they hear about this site
Okay, wait a second. Charlie, I think you need to be concerned… She obviously pees blood on a regular basis, or else she would’ve asked for apple juice instead of cranberry… Unless it’s just all that wine they drink.
^^awk
Why would Charlie care……..?
She’s going to drink the cranberry juice to change the pH of her urine, she’s not planning to give them cranberry juice instead of urine. Even they know that scientists can tell the difference between juice and urine.
Long time reader, first time commenter:) i can’t imagine her while on drugs! :) weeuu!
you commented on the 32nd post
Me?? There wernt even aloud comments back then :)
Question: what kind of place would offer HER a job interview? Do they know what they’re getting themselves into?
Finally found it! I work as a guide for ChaCha SMS Answer Service, and we collect stupid questions. Many of them are even dumber than some of the things the GAM say. Anywho, this post reminded me of this:
“Q: If you put bleach in your urine test will it come back positive?
A: If you’re being tested for bleach, yes, it will come back positive. Sounds like urine some trouble.” xD
Drugs? So that’s why they’re so stupid….!
Hi everybody. I recently started a website. It’s called http://encyclopediduh.com/. The concept of the website is basically an online encyclopedia of the dumbest things mankind has ever done. I would really appreciate it if you could visit the site, and most importantly submit something. The site hasn’t really taken off yet, and if you could submit it would really help. Submitting is fun, and only takes a second. Thank you.
Well at least they have an interview…*trying to be positive*
I think that she’s trying to NOT be positive though… ha… haha… because it’s bad to be positive on a drug test…. ha.
One’s got a job interview lined up,
But she worries she’ll have to pee in a cup.
Charlie’s clean, she can use his piss,
But she thinks he’s creepy and homeless.
Yay! I always go to the comments simply to see your posts. I love this one :)
Aw, thanks <3
Tsk tsk.
Hair can determine any drugs used for the past 3 years.
She probably has a UTI if she’s asking for cranberry juice (which would make a random drug test difficult). But it’s still stupid in that case because really she should just get some medicine. Cranberries have barely any effect once you actually have one.
Then again, she could always be on drugs, which would make her that much more stupid because cranberry juice is known for “cleaning out” UTI-causing organisms, not drugs. And we clearly can’t put that level of stupidity past her…