Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
04
“We gotta go places where we can find rich husbands.” When will you realize the man you’ve been waiting for is under your heels.
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you seem to have developed some form of stockholm syndrome with the girls above you.
girls these days.
Girls like that don’t deserve a man like you. Actually, they don’t really deserve any man…
Are you rich?
wait so you’re in a love/hate relationship with these girls that they don’t know of…
does that translate to you being kind of in love with them?
because i’m starting to see from this bitter hatred a kind of fondness for them.
maybe maybe. i don’t really know.
Can i come live with you please? I love these girls.
I think last year’s movie said it best, It’s Complicated.
haha girls don’t know what they really want sometimes, listen to Louis CK explaining the difference between girls and women: http://shortform.tv/w/comedy/louis-ck-girls-vs-women
I feel as if you have gone from being annoyed with these girls, to being secretly in love with them.
Someone copywrite this shit. I can see a hilarious rom com on the horizon
Aww thats so sweet! its too bad they bearly know you. Maybe you should fix that :)
Are you trying to imply that you have feelings for them? I mean, sure they might be a laugh for like an hour, but wouldn’t their stupidity annoy you after a while?
Surely you’re kidding. Girls this vapid don’t deserve your hilarity!
Shoudn’t have run when you knocked that time, but I’m pretty sure I would have too
And when will you realize the girl you’ve been waiting for sighs wistfully as she reads your site everyday?
Oh, goodness. You make me laugh! :D I sincerely hope that this is sarcasm and not a secret infatuation. You seem far too interesting and funny to be with a girl that ridiculous. :)
There are two of them, right? Which one’s gonna be the lucky one?
Can I come?
this made me crack up so much :)
Bleh :P no. You are way too good for either of those girls.
Soo is this some secret crush thing you’ve got goin on? You’re way too funny and amazing for those morons.
you are enduring so much, what if you could come and just let them know your mind!
I know I’m the hundred and seventeenth girl to propose to you in your comments… but who could resist? You’re hilarious!!!!
I can see it already…boy hears girl above him. boy mocks girl above him. boy falls for girl above him. boy and girl meet. girl mocks boy below her. against all odds, girl falls for boy. boy and girl start dating. girl stumbles across boy’s blog. girl is hurt. girl cries. girl screams at boy. girl storms out. boy screams, then cries. girl contacts Chanel re:crutches. girl becomes Chanel designer and lives happily ever after. boy spends the rest of his life alone.
“Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
-William Butler Yeats
I love this. So true, so true!
This is obviously not the case. I looked; there is no such thing as Chanel crutches.
@ Riley
…yet.
I’m always so disappointed when I log on and don’t see a new post about the GAM. Keep up the good work!
hey… what happened.. you stopped posting.
I love this site. I wish my neighbors were this interesting.
no regrets.
you should post more often, these posts really make a lot of people’s days
i just wanted to point out that almost everyone who comments is a chick.
are ya sure you want THOSE girls??
I think that everyone posting stuff like, ‘You’re too good for them’ or ‘They’re stupid, you deserve better’ are just jealous. If you want to date one of them, then go for it. Maybe you can help them with their problem. Please post more, becayse you’re amazingly funny and have a great sense of humor.
Emily, are you implying you aren’t jealous?
I’m not jealous. I mean, how could I be? I’ve never met him, or those girls.
Thanks everyone! I love and appreciate all your comments. There will be a new post tomorrow (Monday)!
yayyy! XD
This whole thing is fake, everyone.
Is any of this real? It seems very contrived. Like a struggling comedian trying to get some followers on twitter. But then it’s so mundane maybe it is real.
You’re my new favorite internet obsession.
Screw everyone else, I think this post was adorable :3
DUDE!!!!Quit pining over those stupid girls? You’d date on of them and then realize… “hey… they are really stupid” so why waste your time????
maybe emily has a dark secret? who wouldn’t think charlie is cute? ;) who could resist him and all his charm, and the dog, the dog is pretty epic too.
Ok the advert on the side says “Date Rich Men”.
I shall obey.
I reckon it’s not a plea for their love…but a little thing called sarcasm, which he does very well. (:
that was tres, tres cute! you are currently my internet obssesion!<3
I doubt the man they’ve been waiting for is the crazy psychopath downstairs who waits obsessively for these poor girls to speak in the privacy of their own home so that he can publically humiliate them. You’re a jackass
He clearly isn’t stalking them if he can HEAR THEM THROUGH THE WALL. That’s not his fault.
….i dont like you….you’re a buzzkill…go poop on someone else’s party, you hooker.
I’d date a guy with a bowling ball dog, for that fact alone.
I love it! I love your wit. Since the walls are so thin (or in this case the ceiling/floor is so thin) you might as well have fun with it.
Kristin needs to lighten up.
:)
Truly.
that was tres,i think you are currently my internet obssesion!
Dang, looks like Kristen found out someone’s been listening to her.
hahaha, that was amazing.
Kristin needs to shut her yap or keep or opinion to herself. He’s not a stalker because he didn’t purposely move into this apartment beneath these girls just so that he can hear them talk crap everyday. It was just a coincidence that two bimbo’s moved above him. Since he has to deal with their stupidity he might as well make something entertaining out of it. So kristin: stop hating.