Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
20
I don’t normally weigh in on your fights, but “whose hypothetical older brother would be hotter” is serious stuff. Sorry Claire.
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Hahahahaha! I read these everyday, and these girls never cease to amaze me…. Thanks for making me laugh, Charlie! :)
Thanks. Keep on cheering, diva.
Cuh-lair? That’s a fat girl name.
It’s a family name!
Hahaha, Nice Breakfast Club quote.
breakfast club for the win! greatest movie ever, fo shiz. :)
HAHAHAHA i love breakfast club!!!!
Heavy stuff man.
While I doubt the legitimacy of these, they still amuse me.
We could also argue whose hypothetical older sister would be smarter.
*LIKE*
Fantastically idiotic. Do you have any siblings Charlie?
Two older sisters, one younger sister, and 3 baby half brothers.
You must have some crazy family get-togethers.
But are they hot?
Try six brothers, four of which are older, and one little sister 0_o
Lol I have two step-sisters who are 20 years older than me, two half-brothers who are ten years older, a sister who is younger and a sister-in-law.
What is this I don’t even.
dats mi liyne
hi im 12 wat is diz
…
dnt … me u smelly gurl go awae*~
How dare you!
I’ll have you know that in the year of 1994, many moons ago, I was traveling abroad in Indonesia for work matters. Wanting to soak up local culture, I visited an Indonesian flee market, intending on only staying briefly.
HOWEVER, as I browsed the stands the aroma of fresh tulips lured me to one particular vendor. She was short in height, but not in trickery. Soon she had managed to put me in an almost hypnotic state, her having almost complete control of my actions. Soon enough, I found myself arms-full in merchandise from her shop, but without any recollection of how it got there.
She stood in front of me, a sly smile on her face, her palm outstretched eagerly, and waiting for payment. I gazed at her momentarily, trying to recall how I had got to this point in time. After a few dazed seconds, I spoke.
“I’m sorry, Miss. I don’t think I’ll be purchasing your things today.” Then I replaced the things to her table but couldn’t help but catch a sneaky smile that reeked of trickery on her face.
Soon again, I felt myself in a dazed atmosphere. My head clouded and when it cleared again, I had all of the strange woman’s merchandise in my arms once again, and she stared at me with that deceiving smile, her hand outreached for payment once again.
I dared speak once more “I’m sorry. This is all truly lovely merchandise, miss, but I’m afraid I have no money.”
After all this time, the woman finally spoke. Her scratchy deep voice threw me off. I was convinced that an elderly woman of such stature would have high brittle vocals, but deceived I was. “Oh my dear, don’t worry about the money. It’s no problem. Just take it all. I’m an elderly woman; I have no purpose for these things anymore.”
I hesitantly put the old woman’s possessions in my leather satchel, mumbling my grateful thank yous.
I was preparing to leave when she spoke again, “Oh but dear, I do ask a favor. Seeing as I’ve done you good today, perhaps you could do something in return. My dream has always been to open a tea parlor. Do you think you could try this recipe?”
She held out a cup of steaming tea. Eager to escape her presence, I quickly downed the beverage.
A menacing laugh roared through out the market. “FOOL!” she shouted. “You should have just purchased the items the first time they wound up in your arms! You brought this revenge upon yourself!”
I stared at her horrified. Mumbling and stuttering pleas for an explanation.
She continued in her booming, thunderous voice, “A curse, my dear, of the oldest Indonesian witchery has been bestowed upon you! I put it in the tea! Fear the consequences! If you are not the smelliest girl on the interwebz each week you will wake the day after a DGAM post to find that you have lost control of you bowels and shit such an amount that your family has drowned in the feces and have already started decomposing into your fecal matter!”
And with that, she disappeared in a puff of smoke.
SO, Mr. Sasquatch, that is why I always smell.
lol wtf at the GAM and anna’s story…
Her stories are the best.
500daysofkissingmypillow.tumblr.com
Please contact me there, Floutsy/Ann. :)
lol u tlk 2 much u smellieh gurl*~
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE LOL
Anna Recsik, I adore you for taking the time to post that splendid tale.
Anna, that story was bomb shit. (pun intended? maybe ;) point is, you amuse me, keep it up.
I can’t believe you bothered to type out all of this
High five Charlie
OMG LOL
Good sites, good commentry.
Alicia & Anna stand out to me tho. :)
I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but thanks?
Ohhh my gosh. Anna. Is. My. Hero.
*falls on floor in fits of hysterics*
Brilliant stuff Charlie.
And Anna … *giggle snorts*
Just what we need, a troll trolling a troll.
Hey Lola, did I totally make your day yesterday?
You’re so needy.
First time reader, you are amazing.
XD!
I scroll down the comments and see a big large comment that is actually a story!
Loved it LOL. <33
same lol!
i was scrolling down and my face was like :|
then i saw anna’s story and was like O_O
then i read it and was like xD!
So. Many. Emoticons. It scares me.
Is it weird that I feel like I know you guys?
My daily routine consists of coming to this site, trying to understand what the girls could possibly mean and finally reading hilarious, pathetic and just plain bizarre fan comments. This page is really a staple part of my day now.
ecky ecky ecky ptang zoop boing zoo zow zing!
your alien babble confuses me. just saying.
It’s not alien babble. It’s the babble of the Knights who until recently said NI!
Firstly, you must find another shrubbery! Then when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery–only slightly higher so you get the two level effect with a little path going down the middle. Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring!
(I may or may not know this by heart.)
You must bring me… A shrubbery! A nice one, but not too expensive.
NNNNNNIIII!
You must cut down a tree with a….herring!
No, it’s awesome. What’s weird is that we know the girls above you better than we know you!
Nah. I feel the same way. One day I’ll throw a party for all of us cool people.
Haha, that actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
And there will be SunChips.
hallelujah! sun chips!
You do that, I will be there. As long as I’m greeted with a poem.
As long as you don’t hum “Swifty”, it’s all good in the hood.
where will said party be taking place?
under the girls above charlie?
Is it sad I peruse the comments only looking for Charlie’s rhetoric?
I do this also.
I want to go to this party since I feel like I know everyone too. I just don’t feel like I’m as clever as everyone else to comment all the time even though I read them all. Does that make me a creeper? Ha.
I do this too– Oh, look, there I am.
Lol, I hope not- that’s what I do XD
I do this too. And I dream of the day Charlie will reply to one of my posts.
Wake up, Jessica.
LOL
*warm fuzzies*
Nope, because I feel like i know all the people who comment too. :D
In a previous life, we all lived in a commune of hippies. We would not let ourselves talk to each other, so our only way of communication was scrawling runes into the dirt, or with clay onto rocks. That is why we resort to this unspoken manner to communicate even in this reincarnation. It feels like you know us- because you do know us. Don’t you remember me Charlie? My name was Bonnie, and I was the best in the commune at catching fish. If I remember, Alicia was the commune rune-writer.
You are amazing. That is all.
I agree xD
I’m in love with this website. Your commentary is absolutely hilarious. Be my best friend, please.<3
Yes pleeease I am english haha Americans love British people! :D
I’m English as well. Got a British passport and everything.
OMG
OMGOMGOMG
why you english? Were you born here?
Speaking of which, do you have dual citizenship?
I <3 this. So. Effing. Much. The comment page just as much as the girl's lack of IQ.
Flight of the conchords, anyone?
Charlie your site always brightens my day, it’s hilarious. I am espescially happy there was a post on my birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Shout out, happy birthday!
Happy birthday :D
Happy Birthday!
Today is my sisters bday too, but she doesn’t post here.
Charlie, have you ever tried shouting a response back at the girls through your ceiling/ their floor? They would probably think you were crazy but still, I’m curious to see what would happen XD
They’re response would be, “OMG is that gay hairy hobo is talking to us!?”
Oh and BTW, I don’t think your a gay hairy hobo, it’s just based on the things they say :D
I bang on my ceiling sometimes, but that was back in the day when I wasn’t writing “letters” to them. Can’t have them shut up now.
Mr. Heckles, I knew that was you.
Do they know about this site? You should interview them!! Dedicate it to Angie and say it was her idea :D
I read this site all the time and it brightens my day. Alicia- love the poems! Anna- hilarious story. Haha. Keep doing what you do Charlie! :)
I feel so appreciated :D
What luck, the one day I click thru to comments on a whim, I’m rewarded with this glorious rebuttal by Anna Recsik. Reminds me of the 2006-12-24 Peanuts strip (comics.com/peanuts/2006-12-24/).
Hmm. I read this every day and barely comment. I kinda feel left out
We’re in the same boat there. I comment every once in a while… I guess you can call them special. :D
I just feel like I should join in. It looks like so much fun
hmmm… Sarah… Arnold?
Welcome to the party.
*sniffs out Sun Chips*
My name doesn’t have Arnold in it if that’s what you’re suggesting? But I will take some sunchips
For the record, I think you’re a gay, hairy, hobo, Charlie.
How dare you call me Charlie.
hahahaha..this is why i love you :D
You’re just jelly.
OMG. Best post ever. My friends were having the same discussion today (no joke), and I have a fan on a website that is not mine (shout out to Angieissocool!). Now if only I could find some cookies…
sorry to disappoint, but I’m not a fan! Haha my name is Angie too :) basically it’s like Charlieissocoollike (on youtube) but… Angieissocoollike! :D
I figured that. But the first 30 seconds of thinking that I had a fan was pretty cool. :)
You should alicia.
Charlie, you make College life so much more enjoyable
How old are the girls? Seriously?
I freakin love this site. Makes my day
Hmm… two Monty Python referenced names on at once… intriguing.
I too read this everyday, but I have never commented. This truly is a great site. I try to share it with my wife, but she doesn’t find it very funny.
Maybe she’s secretly a GAM in her heart?? :O
Sorry, Charlie, I am stealing your idea, but changing it some. Dear Woman Sleeping Next To Me.
What do you think would happen if they found out?
What I truly want to know is are they as stupid as he makes them out to be? Are they trust fund babies or does he just live in a craptastic apartment?
I was yogurtland and over heard a pair of blonde bimbos chatting away talking about “how soft poodle fur must feel, but like, it’s not like I’m Cruella De Ville or anything. Ew, she did NOT know how to wear her patterns”. I felt like I was living a day in the life of Charlie McDowell
I’ve been to yogurtland 3 times this week.
I will give cookies to the universe if those turn out to be the same girls!
So not fair. I’ve only been to yogurtland once because the closest one is over an hour away.
<3333 yogurtland! :D that's where our party should be, just saying.
16 Handles is superior.
Now I want to visit yoghurtland!! I live in the UK so I’ve never been but it sounds like a magical land made out of beautiful creamy yoghurt…
not to be ignorant…..but uh what is yogurtland? and does it involve riding mythical beasts?
It’s kind of like Pinkberry (but not really at all). http://www.yogurt-land.com/
oh yummy!!!
huh. we only have Red Mango. I likes it tho.
Charlie, can you be magical and take me to yogurtland?
Long time reader, first time commenter. This is epic! I love love loooove this site, and reading the comments. Both never fail in making my day!
…it would so suck for you if they ever decided to move.
I wonder if your brothers would be as stupid as you?
Or if they’d be the kind of people to date girls like you two.
I’m sure it’s important to argue
Whether or not they’d be hot,
But if they’re as stupid as you girls,
Looks would be all they’ve got.
Alicia…..i secretly idolize you. well,not so secretly anymore…. oops
Super secrets aren’t fun unless they’re shared with everyone! (Haha I haven’t said that since I was like six.)
HA i’m definatly gonna start saying that again
Awesome poem once again!
ROFL. I love your poems Alicia.
Thank you for posting this Charlie :) Always makes a bad day better to read your site.
The games we girls play…
Do guys even do this?
ha
DAMN YOU. I JUST LOST THE GAME. THEN I LOST IT AGAIN. OMFG.
I have found myself using the phrase “girls above me” as a noun, adjective, and verb in everyday life. even to people to have no idea what I’m talking about (lol)
“god you are such a girls above me, you cant even name all the pokemon?!”
this made me laugh.xD
this just made my day.
i’m going through sorority recruitment and I hear dumb things all day every day now, but these always take the cake. (although, sorority girls don’t EAT cake, so I think you would have ended up with the cake anyways..)
I always get here so late…
What’s wrong with the cart?!
Me too. Makes me sad that I missed the main “party” of posting. :(
Charlie, do you read all of these comments?
I think the fact that he replies means he does.
Correct.
i love TGAM but i laugh every time i see claire’s name, my name is claire and i’m not fat or TOO dumb yay breaking stereotypes! ^.^ keep up the good work charlie
I’d just like to say I’ve spent the last two weeks at work reading every single post on this site (comments included). I think my supervisor is noticing that I’m not getting anything done, but this site is so awesome that I don’t really care. So when I get fired, can I come be your secretary Charlie?
When you get fired, work for Voldemort like me (:
We get paid in muggle pain and chocolate.
100%
My brother looks like Orlando Bloom. :p
Is it sad to say that I have previously had this argument with my friends? That argument was time well spent…
Dear Girls Above Me= highlight of the day. Great job, sir!
Charlie even though I have three brothers already… will you be my hypothetical brother?
Good Kharma keeps the wheel turning…
(…) My blog just hit PR2, click my source link and you will get a dofollow link there upon approval! Let’s share the Google love! (…)…
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This is genius! love it! ….
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