“So many of my Facebook friends got hacked by some ‘Donate 10$ to Oklahoma’ thing.” Maybe a little less Kardashians and more CNN.

“That missing suicide bomber should be killed for what he did in Boston.” According to you he already has.

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“I got another ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant when there wasn’t a fire!” At least you have an airtight court case.

“He was so hot but bragged about being from Chilis. So what, he grew up in a restaurant?” Makes more sense than being from Chile.