“I don’t even want a boyfriend, I just wanna be ‘in a relationship’ with someone on Facebook.” My teenage cousin is looking…

“Al Qaeda… Al Qaeda… Oh, is that the new guy on Desperate Housewives?” Yep! (If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em)

“I think I wanna learn a new language. Maybe a little parle vu espanol, por favors?” I’m not sure which Rosetta Stone to get you.

(screaming) “J. Lo, if you’re out there, what eyeliner do you use!?” It’s times like these I wish I had a sassy Latina accent.

“He’s going on a family vacation to Amazon? To like the headquarters or something?” More likely than that measly rainforest.