(phone) “Mom, the hurricane is there!? Well go make a smoothie and hide in your car!” Now I know who to contact in an emergency.

“A rebellion is happening in Libya between the people who support Qaddafi and former military members.” Who the hell was that?!

“Claire, did you have really loud porn style sex last night?!” Sorry, next time I’ll turn the volume down and close the windows.

I kept thinking you wanted a Philips head screw, but instead I’d like to preemptively congratulate Philip on your date tonight.

“You know what I really wanna know?” How Stonehenge was formed? “Do ladybugs get jet lag?” Oh right, that mystery.