21
“So I missed that eclipse thingy last night. I’ll just catch it next year.” The previous solstice lunar eclipse occurred in 1638.
20
“I have a really important question: Is it possible to just lose like 4 pounds with the Lap-Band?” Why stray from anorexia?
16
“If I got a dime for every sex dream a guy’s had of me, I’d have like 500 dollars and 75 cents.” Unfortunately dimes can’t make that number.
15
“You hear that? I think the guy downstairs is having gay sex! He keeps screaming out DEREK.” Nope, just watching the Lakers game.
14
“(singing) I love Zac Efron cause he’s so delicious, gone goldfishin’.” Thanks for getting this stuck in my head at the DMV.