18
“Gylly ended things with Swifty!? I’m so gonna pay 1.29$ for the song that comes out of this.” Sounds more like a .99 song to me.
17
“I wonder if Martin Luther King ever had a wet dream? If so, I wanna hear about THAT one.” I totally question his priorities as well.
14
“Some nerdy space guy got it wrong, I’m NOT a Cancer now! Do I look like a loser who never goes out?” Hey, I walked my dog today!
12
“Last night was legendary, best sex ever!” I know! We orgasmed at the same time! Only difference is you had someone else with you.
11
“My therapist said I need a hobby. Maybe I should start like getting into Ebaying?” I’m not sure that’s what she was alluding to.