“You know what I really wanna know?” How Stonehenge was formed? “Do ladybugs get jet lag?” Oh right, that mystery.

“The Kardashian Wedding was totally our Royal Wedding.”And just like that an empire falls.

“Why are you really mad, Claire? Is it because the coffee guy at Starbucks knows my name and not yours?” Whoa, one step too far.

“Oh. My. God! Did you know that we left the tea kettle on the entire night!?” I sure as hell did.

(walking out the door) “Wait, getting a CAT scan doesn’t involve like a real cat, right?” Only if it’s raining cats and dogs.